LEAVE OUR BALLS ALONE!!

In response to:Men & their B A L L S

[In my best F.D.R voice]

"Yesterday, Tuesday 20th, 2010 -- a date which will live in infamy -- the United States of Balls were suddenly and deliberately attacked by oral and verbal forces of the Empire of Estrogen.

The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Estrogen, was still in conversation with its government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Vulva."

I'm tempted to really go in and go line by line, but its not that serious bc its still a good light hearted comedic read. The two primary attacks was on our sports fascination and our penile "obsession." First off, let me just tackle the latter. Idunno what it's like on the other side of the fence but let me just tell you..............having a Bobby Dangles, is AWESOME!!! I'mma have to write a "Penis Monologue" one of these days. If it had a bill, it would be the first one paid every month. Men would go homeless, lose their car, lights and phone before they lost it (oddly enough, there is no bill and unfortunately some men do lose everything for it, but that's another conversation - there's extremist for everything). So leave us to our testicular devices. As much as I study, I swear I learn something new about the triangle every year, so why would you think for a second that our attachment is any less complicated?

Secondly, sports is waaaaaaaaaay more than just entertainment and I promise you all I will expound on that at a later date. But I digress, a line by line retort does not tackle the macro issue at hand.

Tread lightly ladies, your stepping on sacred territory and crossing some serious boundaries. There are many things about women we don't understand but leave it be bc we know how ugly things can get and how quickly we get accused of insensitivity. But for men, we can lash and lash away and just say "man up" can't we? Ah the double standard lingers. Not complaining bc we can't take it................just advising that we can easily go down the same route if that is in fact where ladies wish to go. Men, we must quell this peasant uprising before it rallies momentum in the surrounding towns and neighboring villages!!

Estrogenic Sacred Cows that Men don't understand, but respect and leave alone:

Make up - Any man who really likes to loves you will say he prefers you without it. Any man that says "OOOH GOSH bebe! Put on some MAC or we not leaving the house," you might want to reconsider. We don't question why your make-up box is more elaborate or intricate than the average mans tool box or surgeons spread. We don't question why you have more colors and tools than Bob Ross or a first year fine art student. We just smile, play video games or watch TV while you're getting ready.

Shoes - Most women I speak to average somewhere btwn 40-70 pairs and more. Why you need 10 pairs of black shoes, that's another conversation. I've heard some really creative explanations that I'm sure would sway a jury of your peers in a court of law. But not every man has lived with a woman for enough months or years to BEGIN to grasp this concept.

Jeans - Why exactly do you need 12 pairs of blue jeans, I'm sure you can come up with and already have very sensible sounding reasons.....but once again, it's a rhetorical question. We leave that alone.

Periods - The red light, Aunt Dot, Your friend, T.O.M., Aunt Flow, or any other myriad of names you call it. Its a part of life, we accept it, but it will forever gross us out. Sorry, its the truth. But out of respect for you, we stomach it and speak nothing of it. The most profound summary of our feelings on it is from South Park's Mr Garrison when he said, "I don't trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die." BUT, we have too much love, respect and adoration for the female body and know better than to go there.

You're "EX" - I'm convinced that 99% of women have or had at least one ex that they cannot stop talking about and you are sick and tired of being sick and tired of hearing about. She'll go on and on about all the reasons why he's the most terrible person in the world. If it happens to be someone you're dating, find said ex and punch him in the face bc he's to blame for 80% of your relationship issues. He does or did things to her that if it were to happen to your sister or cousin, you would consider murder. Yet, she still goes back with him, sees him, hangs out and carries on as if none of that ever happened. And you're in the awkward position of forcing to keep a straight face bc the dude is always around. Oh the dilemma: do you tell your friend STFU and risk alienating a good friend who needs someone to confide in, or do you stomach it and be a good friend to your own personal and psychiatric dismay? Again, I'm sure you have all the reasons in the world why you can't give up on Blood Liver, Stabwound Stan,Bullet Tooth Tony, or Ike Turner just yet.

Like Scarface said, "All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one. Do you understand?" So leave the balls alone [except for the one or two acceptable permissible occasions ::GIGGITY!!::]. We will forever be very protective of them in a way that until you've been kicked, knee'd or grazed in the nuts, will never understand. Remind me to tell you all one day the many lessons in life and manhood that you can learn from sports. It's more than just a game. The key take-away here is that full understanding is not requisite for compliance, respect and symbiotic cohabitation.

We protect our nuts like a squirrel with a bazooka!!

COD is CRACK!!! [From the Blackberry Chronicles]

Does COD, WAW (not to be mistaken with WOW) or MW2 ring a bell to you?

First sign that a videogame has reached epidemic proportions: women who don't play videogames know the acronym. My high school homie and many other women have confessed that this game has ruined her sex life. The menace we speak of, of course, is the 6th "Call of Duty" game: "Modern Warfare 2." And I confess, I would blog like everyday were it not for that game...........and Super Street Fighter 4

What man of proper testosterone levels does not want to strap on an m-16 equipped with silencer and red dot, frag, flash grenades, stealth and enemy radar jammer and run a Rambo/Commando on some charlies and tangos? Its like G.I. Joe....except the bullets actually hit ppl. Forget the fact that we are glorifying violence, warfare combat, and the blatant/latent pro-military propaganda, DA SHIT IS FUN SUN!!!

Why to men love this so? All men have some pent up frustration and or animosity that a lavishly successful career, good credit score, a healthy sexlife and/or rabid masturbation just won't alleviate. That's why men do surface level-seemingly stupid shit like hunt, extreme sports, unprotected sex, skydive, customize cars, box and date crazy chicks. Why? Bc society has set up so many social barriers that we cannot permeate. Its socially unacceptable to be violent despite our natual carnal instinct. How often have we seen we seen infants playing and one "Stewie" of a child crack-smacks the pituitaries out of a next child for touching his/her precious toys. Yet we vilify the poor tyrant-to-be as if foreign ppl are supposed to touch your stuff unwarranted (then u wonder why lil Jenny has boys sneaking out ur window while ur at work).

Sidenote: As I'm giving this a final glance over, I can't help but think this scenario sounds familiar........AH YES! We called it the Gulf War. Learn your history!

Sidernote: Ghost is one of the coolest fictional military characters since Snake Eyes and Mister T!

Its socially unacceptable and we frown upon hitting or enacting violence on women, children, old ppl, ppl from Jersey, Ben Afflack, students, puppies, bosses, co-workers, ex's, Redsox or Knicks fans - who coincidentally tend to be some of the most annoying ppl who arguably deserve to be hit the most! Not saying I condone viiolence but sit here and tell me you haven't fathomed pulverizing at least three of these types if not all, then cast your stones. So where does all this frustration go? Nothing vents frustration like calling in an air strike with an Apache chopper gunner attack helicopter or "the angel of death" Lockheed ac-130.

So next time you see your man playing some mw2 or any other game, don't feel jealous. He is simply making deposits into his "I'm not going to whip her monkey ass" account. And for that, you should celebrate having a good man. Get yourself involved. Test his focus.....challenge him and see if he can maintain a positive KD (kill/death ratio where you have more kills than deaths) while his penis is in your mouth. Some of yall are grossed out, but most dudes will go ring shopping for that or at least keep that in mind next time he's tempted to cheat.

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Why Do Stereotypes Offend Us?

I've lived with and worked with many men of many races, religions and cultural backgrounds. Most notably in college, 4 guys + moi in a duplex apartment, which I called my, "Real World Apartment" bc it was the most diverse set of personalities I've ever had under one roof. Aside from a few conflicts of ideology on tidiness, we all got along very well, but we were THE most stereotypical band of ppl ever assembled since the power rangers. More stereotypical than GI JOE.

Roll Call:

DOWNSTAIRS
The Irish Guy - Who drank every night...and most days.
The Chinese/Asian Guy - AKA Guy Downstairs, AKA The Man under the stairs. He never left his room. The only time we saw him was through an opening over the wall/partition as you're walking up the stairs. Whenever everyone else is hanging out in the living room, we'd hear random punchlines and funny snaps coming from under the stairs. LOVE EM! BTW, he watched anime and played videogames all day long. I'm convinced he installed a bathroom on his pc. We all went to the same school, 3 art students, 1 architect and one engineer. Take a wild guess what major he was? Ok, you'd accuse me of exaggerating if I said he was good at math too, huh?

Sidenote: I don't know if he had a car bc we lived in Tribeca, but I'd bet money it was a regular or souped up Honda civic.

Upstairs
Black Guy #1 - Southern Black American from "Bawlmormyrrrlin", who fried EVERYTHING and ate fried chicken almost every day.

Sidenote: Translation: Baltimore, Maryland. Here's some ignorant, obnoxious New Yorker insight okay. To us.........EVERYTHING south of Newark, is SOUTHERN.

The Jewish Guy - Who was notoriously meticulous with money, penny pincher and really cheap. He handled all the bills so we'd all pay him. Most distinctly, I vividly recall an incident where he haggled black guy #1 bc he was 3 cents short on the phone bill. I literally picked up 3 cents off of the carpet (see previous comment about ideology on tidiness) and handed it to him, but he refused it and demanded #1 pay him.

Which leads us to....last but definitely not stereotypical least.....

Black Guy #2 (Gee I wonder who) - Brooklyn born Caribbean (or as one of my friends former racist Korean landlord would say "SAME KINDA BLACK!") who rapped, breakdanced, danced all the time, burned incense, blasted rap, reggae and soca music the few times he was actually home and had cornrows or a massive afro............from the hoooooooooood!!!! OH! And who also was the loud angry short-tempered member of the group.

Not to say that we represent the archetype of our respective cultures, but I could sit here and list a few dozen other cases. So over the years I've come to the conclusion that most stereotypes that we say about each other.............ARE TRUE! Not for everyone, but many are rooted in truths for large majorities of the population. If that's the case, why do we get so offended by them? Kumbaya little Timmy, that is a great question. I think I have an answer for you (where would we be without good old Timmy? He asks more questions than the rest of you). Quite simply, human beings don't take critique well from strangers. Forget critique, we're not a fan of any commentary period. No matter how true or un-true it may be. I've actually heard a female compliment my friend's outfit and she said to me "I don't need this bitch's opinion." It's the same concept of you calling your pal stupid, a slut, bitch, Laker fan, and then you turn around and get offended when a complete stranger says the same thing. That's one reason why I don't like the n-word and I think it lurks one of the greatest hypocrisy of my people. If you want to use the word all day and night, don't get mad at anyone outside of the race for using it.

After confronting all these racists online and in videogame online, I've learned to tune out the outsiders bc at the end of the day their opinions really don't matter. Why award a total stranger the power and privilege of ruining your day with their words?

Sticks and stones folks. Sticks and stones.

Stop quoting the 80-20 Rule from Tyler Perry. HE GOT IT WRONG!!

I'm getting sooooooooo bleeping tired of ppl abusing the "Pareto Principle" which you have undoubtedly heard at one time or another as the "80-20 Rule," probably another reason why I dislike Tyler Perry, I digress. Vilfredo Pareto was an Italian economist (I don't remember when, look it up on your own or the companies dime on wiki) who did a study that revealed that 80% of the wealth in his town, most of Italy and many others places was controlled by 20% of the population, leaving 20% of the wealth to be dispersed and fought over amongst 80% of the population (today its like 1% controlling 99% of the worlds wealth; sad I know). It doesn't stop there. In government and any organization, 20% of the ppl make 80% of the decision. On a team or a company, 20% of them will produce 80% of the value and worth (this is why one company will pay some ppl a few million and while a few million get laid off). Applied to a contemporary context, I'd say 80% of your emails are trivial (even more for me if you knew my friends), you talk to 20% of your addressbook 80% of the time. You wear 20% of your wardrobe 80% of the time. See where else this applies in your world. Have at it, take it to town.

The theory in the movie "Why did I get married" states that if you find a man/woman who has 80% of what you're looking for with 20% missing, you should neglect or stomach the 20% and focus on the 80. So based on Pareto's principle, he's telling you to be sheep and not shepherd and to quote one of my favorite thinkers of all time, Thomas Jefferson, "the masses or asses" (hence the inception of the electoral college...I forgot how much I loved history.I digress). So when he tells his woman "baby, you're my 80," Paretoeanly speaking (jus made that one up muhself) he basically calls her trivial.

Perry missed the entire point in its entirety, ENTIRELY. The point is the critical few versus the trivial MANY. The point is that the 20 percent, even though seemingly inconsequential in number, is more valuable and critical than the overwhelming 80, hence why its referred to as the vital few vs. the trivial many, or "Pareto efficiency." You're SUPPOSED to spend 20% of your time on the trivial 80 and 80% of your time/energy/money/effort on the 20% which will yield you 80% of you total value (hope I'm not losing anyone). I used to teach this in my time management and leadership trainings so I was wondering why in every conversation on relationships, ppl keep quoting this...erroneously.........and citing Tylyer Perry? That's like saying The RrChitect's first law of thermodynamics is energy is created and destroyed!! Like Sir Issac Newton never existed. And even worse, I have legions of ppl ignorantly quoting me on that like its the gospel.

If I hear one more person telling me that they are going to stay in some seriously effed up relationship bc of a few good things, I'm going to scream. If you're not happy, you're not happy, PERIOD!!! It's like a single negligible drop of water that if ignored and continued dripping over time will collapse an entire building (our second physics lesson for the day is on pressure over time: F=MA M'Fa's!!). Some things are petty and resolvable but some things are just irreparable. It kills me bc with so many good ppl not getting a chance for trivial reasons, you have these flying camel turds who getting away with murder and their man/woman won't leave them.

Sidenote: I'm not sure what's worse. Me making physics jokes or the one or two other nerds who are rolling on the floor laughing at them right now. I'm a closet nerd. SHHHHHH!

So whats the take away after all my complaining? Good question little Timmy, I'm glad you asked. If you have an 80-20 situation, first of all, slap the first person who quotes Tyler Perry (hell, even Steve Harvey has better relationship advice). Secondly, please take the history lesson and correct anyone you hear quoting this erroneously and stop using it. I understand it makes for mellow dramatic soppy crap, but if you're going to quote a reputable theory, citation please, and get it right. Perry should have just changed it all together so call it the 70-30, 90-10, 9-1 rule or something, and make it your own. Finally, ask yourself, is it a TRIVIAL 20 or a VITAL 20 and that, my friends, will tell you exactly what you need to do. Too many ppl are ending relationships over a trivial 20, and even more are sustaining despite a vital 20. I don't know about you, but if I heard that the pilot CRASHED 20% of the time and landed 80%, I'd forfeit my seat for the next stand by.

Sidenote: Nerd Moment #2 - If something is TRIVIAL, all it takes is the removing one or two of the RIght elements, and you can reprioritize it into something VITAL...............

MESSAGE!!!!

More BBM Woes

CAN'T make this up.

So the primary culprit who inspired me to write "PSA: DEATH TO BBM CHAIN MAIL!!!" sent me yet another bogus nonsensical message to which I replied "THATS IT!!!" and she laughed at me about it. Claiming I need to "relax and calm down." I did..............so I calmly and laxly deleted her from my bbm list.

We go back years. I still have her number email and other contacts........just not bbm. Upon realization, she txt's me to inform me that we're not friends anymore and I should delete her number and not talk to her ever again. I can't help laugh at all this....as I keep reminding her that she needs to "relax, calm down." PERHAPS, I could be insensitive about this, but my mind can't wrap around the concept of this being serious. It's like I'm waiting for a "PSYCHE!," a "May fools," or something. Is it just me or does anyone get the feeling sometimes like Ashton Kutcher or some celeb is going to pop up any minute and point out the hidden camera?

I could understand if someone deleted my number, but this isn't the first bbm, facebook, msn or aim contact I deleted. Like I said before, some ppl are better for phone calls and txt msgs. I deleted several ppl bc I didn't like interacting with them on a certain platform but preferred others. Some ppl I just get a long better by phone and there are super close friends who probably never hear my voice (shout outs to bbm and unlimited txt plans). Is it really that serious? Will the phone call become the new snail mail?

Would you be pissed and write off a friendship if someone deleted you?

Know your strengths, OWN your weaknesses

[From the Blackberry Chronicles]

Sidenote: Everyone at some point should do a SWOT analysis- strengths, weaknesses, obstacles, threats. Tough to do on yourself so you may need some third party help.

Sidernote: FYI, there are about 30 blogs written on my phone at any given time that with a 10 minute polish are ready to be posted. So if I ever meander for too long, just shoot me a hoot and I'll supply. Thanks Malissa........wait! What the hell did I just do?!!

I hear far too often from the feminine species:
"I need a booty!"
"I wanna be taller!"
"I wanna be shorter!"
"I need more breast!"
"I need to lose my gut....even tho I'm doing nothing about it and rrchitect clearly outlined everything I need to do to do that!"
And the list goes on for days. I can't blackball the ladies bc everywhere you look there are "performance enhancers, male enhancer" daggering medication for men so clearly the demand is there as well. We just don't complain, we find solutions (ooooooooh SNAP!).

Sidenote: That must be the mf'ing running man theme song!

Here's the funniest part. I almost never hear this from my heftier, homely, moderate and even flat out unattractive female friends. Its always, and I mean ALWAYS from hot, attractive, educated, successful got it going on, five star, bad chick women. What the hell!? Its bad enough you got a booty that can double as a night stand and own your own business. Its bad enough you got more degrees than a thermometer and enough breast to nurse a litter of pot belly pigs and or small impoverished towns. Its bad enough you have a vogue worthy face, and graduated from Oxford Summa, Cum Laude with a 12% bmi. NO!! You wanna monopolize ALL of the good traits. What kinda greedy ass, Sam Catchem, "gotta-catch-em-all" Pokemon-ass women are yall? Is this the same over-achiever instinct that propagates some self imposed sense of entitlement?

We truly need to spend less time focusing on what we don't have and concentrate more time and energy on what we do have.

Sidenote: Woah! Had to catch myself there. I could have easily slipped down that slope of making this about relationships but I'll let yall connect those dots yourself......la lalala. If not, see "NEXT!"

Ever stop for a second to think, maybe, just maybe there is some higher metaphysical reason why you DON'T have said trait? What kind of person would you have been if you had all these? Would being "prettier, sexier" make you an uglier person? Would you be happier with what you THINK you want, at the cost of who you are today? Perhaps the absence of certain elements fueled your drive, direction and most important, character? For a happier day, rather than curse your curses, bless your blessings. The lord has his own system of checks and balances.


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Accepting Change and Polarity

According to German philosopher Schopenhauer, all change, truths or any thing introduced as new, systemically goes through three stages:

First - Mocked and ridiculed
Second - Violently opposed
Third - Accepted as self evident and truth

That being said, I get a lot of positive feedback from my blogs, and for that we thank you. Subscribe, comment and follow along (and yes, I refer to myself in plural from time to time). HOWEVER, I do on occasion get mocked and ridiculed AND violently opposed. I welcome this, but please, leave the comments here on the blog site. Don't txt me, email or im me these things. So it was no surprise that I received a good amount of violent opposition to my "Why You're Still Single - Ladies I" post, despite my well intentioned "PROLIGUE."

As a writer, creative thinker, its is inevitable to reach some controversy or opposition from your words. Hell, with all the slack shit I been writing, I wonder what took so long. I been calling todays kids "dumb" more than a drunk Bill Cosby, talked about lazy moms and sniping babies!!

One thing I learned years ago was to suspend disbelief when looking at the views of others or simply, not to look at them. I'll never forget my first week at college, a dear friend Ayda Girma asked my opinion on her artwork. Unconfident in my ability to critique, I told her I was an architect and she said, "Who cares. Everyone's opinions are valuable. Even if its a bum on the street, at least listen first........then you can decide, okay you're a bum and I don't agree." Recently, my pal Al advised me that if I look at MSNBC, you have to look at FOX NEWS as well, bc the two are so polarized in viewpoints that it is impossible to find middle ground on either platform. No one is going to be convinced or swayed to the other side by a broadcast of Rush Limbaugh or a Michael Moore film. You either go in with the mindset you have or not at all bc you oppose them. They cater to like minded viewpoints....hence, both are entertaining nonethelessm, but how does that foster growth or change? Its about balance. Thats probably why ppl get so bottlenecked bc you keep getting the same advice from the same sources, the same news and info from the same sources and wonder why nothing changes and certain things never work out.

I simply started this series bc I, personally, am sick of all the man bashing, "no good men left," statistical, boarderline castrating propaganda that we're spoon fed all the time. If there was a spectrum, if there was some sense of self responsibility or variety in the arguments, I'd be fine. The "Why You're Still Single" series will eventually continue, but to be honest, A.D.D. is kicking ass, so I just need to get a few things off my mind before I get back into that. The news has just been oh so FASCINATING of late =)
It's amazing where ppl's hot buttons are.

Why You're Still Single - Ladies I

PROLIGUE <----(Please read before continuing)
1 - Choice.
As "the Architect" from the Matrix movies (no relation, I actually am an architect and RRC are my actual initials.........wow the assonance on that one..say that sentence outloud) appropriately stated: "the problem is choice." Many women have a harem of men at their will and bend, but CHOOSE not to embrace any of them. Partially bc of the other person (many specific reasons we will eventually get to), but also bc they aren't ready for the slow down and obligations that come with a relationship. Don't believe the hype, women have commitment issues too especially a busy woman with a lot going on in her life. It's a huge change to suddenly be accountable to and considerate of another person and lets be honest, women have issues with that just as men do. The reason I needed to start here was to make sure that we're clear, when we're crying and complaining, that many ppl are here, primarily by choice.

14 – You bottlenecked yourself by statistics.

If we haven't heard it eleventy-seventy times. What are the most common ones?

-Black women outnumber black men 12-1

-50% of marriages end in divorce

-The number of black women unmarried over 30 is double that of white women

But there are a few significant "soundbytes" that narrow the playing field that I'd like to touch on:

"% of men without a High School/ College diploma." I can understand why, but lets play devil's advocate here: Are you a university? Does this mean that there is no hope for redemption because I dropped out of high school or had responsibilities and financially couldn't go to college? Why are we wasting our time talking about careers and college!!? If we start going to middle and high schools right now and tell them no one will wanna date, marry or have sex with you without your diploma, we would have 90-99% graduation rates. I'll get started on the proposal. Shoot, Chris Rock dropped out of high school, imagine if his wife had that attitude about his millionare ass?

"% of men who have been incarcerated." DA: If you're job is an equal opportunity employer, why aren't you? Similar point, does that discqualify any one whose been encarcerated? There are ppl who change not to mention that many ppl are in prison or jail for non-violent offenses or have no prior criminal history. Martha Stewart and Michael Vick have jail records.

"% of men who are gay." Well there are gay women as well, so rest assure, the competition is thinning out too. Speaking of competition, there are factors that limit the types of women men look for also, so you don't neccessarily have to worry about the other 11 females. Just focus on the one.

"% of single men who already have children." DA: As with everything else, you're eliminating a lot of high quality potential before you've even gotten into physical or personality attributes. The older, you get, the more prevalent this becomes so at some point you have to decide are you going to let a good man go bc he has a child? Hopefully not too late, which spring boards to our last point of the day:

18 – Tunnel Vision: You woke up too late

There's a chapter in the book "He's just not into you" titled "Don't waste the pretty" and unfortunately I think many misinterpretted that and inadvertedly, wasted the pretty. Everyone has their "list" of things they are looking for in a mate. The main reason why you find attractive single people is because of their standards. There are the four leaf clover who are so pretty and humble but no one approaches them, but thats not the normative scenario. Now nothing is wrong with standards, but as you get older, you start to realize that a lot of your standards are superficial. Especially the specific ones. "He has to be 6'-4" and above....Are you a ride? What sport do you coach or do you anticipate storing things in high cubbards? Not only are your pre-requisites limiting, you've now illiminated more than half of your acceptable pool. My lil sis used to specify 6"-4"+ with slim athletic build, until one day I challenged her to keep a log of how many of those she actually saw per day for a week. But when you had "the pretty" on your side, your body was where some of you are trying to get back to now, you had the discretionary power to pick and choose as you saw fit. So you dated a little here, dismissed a little here, yada yada yada... Maybe it wasn't preference, but you told yourself you had to focus on your school/career/life and wrote someone off (that you could have made time for if you decided to) before they even had a chance.

Here's something to ponder when you're alone asking yourself "why?" Whether it was height, education, income, hair, complexion, whatever, how many wonderful men slipped right through your reach bc you didn't know how to spot them out?

A good man is like a stealth bomber. The irony of the stealth bomber is that it's the farthest thing from discrete. It's a loud, huge, BLACK aircraft...very discrete in the day time. However, most radar systems are completely blind to it. If you were in a tower, and used your eyes, you'd spot it a mile away, but alas, you were looking into the lens of the wrong device. Great, now you've been tactically nuked. NICE!!!

To be continued....