COD is CRACK!!! [From the Blackberry Chronicles]

Does COD, WAW (not to be mistaken with WOW) or MW2 ring a bell to you?

First sign that a videogame has reached epidemic proportions: women who don't play videogames know the acronym. My high school homie and many other women have confessed that this game has ruined her sex life. The menace we speak of, of course, is the 6th "Call of Duty" game: "Modern Warfare 2." And I confess, I would blog like everyday were it not for that game...........and Super Street Fighter 4

What man of proper testosterone levels does not want to strap on an m-16 equipped with silencer and red dot, frag, flash grenades, stealth and enemy radar jammer and run a Rambo/Commando on some charlies and tangos? Its like G.I. Joe....except the bullets actually hit ppl. Forget the fact that we are glorifying violence, warfare combat, and the blatant/latent pro-military propaganda, DA SHIT IS FUN SUN!!!

Why to men love this so? All men have some pent up frustration and or animosity that a lavishly successful career, good credit score, a healthy sexlife and/or rabid masturbation just won't alleviate. That's why men do surface level-seemingly stupid shit like hunt, extreme sports, unprotected sex, skydive, customize cars, box and date crazy chicks. Why? Bc society has set up so many social barriers that we cannot permeate. Its socially unacceptable to be violent despite our natual carnal instinct. How often have we seen we seen infants playing and one "Stewie" of a child crack-smacks the pituitaries out of a next child for touching his/her precious toys. Yet we vilify the poor tyrant-to-be as if foreign ppl are supposed to touch your stuff unwarranted (then u wonder why lil Jenny has boys sneaking out ur window while ur at work).

Sidenote: As I'm giving this a final glance over, I can't help but think this scenario sounds familiar........AH YES! We called it the Gulf War. Learn your history!

Sidernote: Ghost is one of the coolest fictional military characters since Snake Eyes and Mister T!

Its socially unacceptable and we frown upon hitting or enacting violence on women, children, old ppl, ppl from Jersey, Ben Afflack, students, puppies, bosses, co-workers, ex's, Redsox or Knicks fans - who coincidentally tend to be some of the most annoying ppl who arguably deserve to be hit the most! Not saying I condone viiolence but sit here and tell me you haven't fathomed pulverizing at least three of these types if not all, then cast your stones. So where does all this frustration go? Nothing vents frustration like calling in an air strike with an Apache chopper gunner attack helicopter or "the angel of death" Lockheed ac-130.

So next time you see your man playing some mw2 or any other game, don't feel jealous. He is simply making deposits into his "I'm not going to whip her monkey ass" account. And for that, you should celebrate having a good man. Get yourself involved. Test his focus.....challenge him and see if he can maintain a positive KD (kill/death ratio where you have more kills than deaths) while his penis is in your mouth. Some of yall are grossed out, but most dudes will go ring shopping for that or at least keep that in mind next time he's tempted to cheat.

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Dont Fall for The AT&T Okie Doke!! [From the Blackberry Chronicles]

I'm always amazed how ape-shit ppl go over new Apple products. You couldn't even load the att website when the new iphone was announced bc all the iphone feens crashed the sight. Att is hilarious. They realized that they are utterly incapable of keeping up with the massive demands caused by the Iphone, so in an attempt fix it, their solution is..............stop using the network so much or we'll nickel and dime you out. But since they cant exactly cut your service against your will, they had to come up with a more alluring, seductive way to do pull this off.

If I believed in the market, I would have invested heavily in att about a month ago when they announced that they were no longer offering unlimited data to new users and revealed the new tiered data structure. Smart users will save a lot of money, but ppl who use their phone ignorantly will get raped. Once I get my new phone that will do all the things I currently don't do, the data calculator estimated me at 4.45 gigs a month. Att's "high end" plan is 2gs and $10 for every 1g over you go. Couple that with them raising the early termination fees on smartphones, (therefore, if you jumped ship just for the Iphone and are dissatisfied with terrible service, you're trapped or have to part ways with a kidney to go back to your old provider) att stands to make a killing.

Remember at one point, phone companies discontinued the unlimited nights and weekends (unless you already had it) bc of usage congestion and only offered 1000 nights and weekends. Remember when long distance wasn't included in your anytime minutes? Calling your neighboring state...and in some cases town, was an additional charge.

Sidenote: My first ever cellphone plan was 200 anytime minutes, long distance not included, unlimited nights and weekends, and I had it for a year before I ever went over (relationships are costly). My first txt msg plan was 200 msg... I average 1200-1700 txt msgs a month now. Can we agree that time and habits change?

Idunno about yall, but I would hold on to a grandfathered unlimited data plan (which they are discontinuing). At first glance, a $15 blackberry plan looks very enticing, but who knows what the internet will look like in 1-3 yrs. Look out for a few things here and on the horizon that will forever alter the next generation of cellphones. Here are a few reasons why you should hold onto your unlimited plan.

Video Calling: Although its currently choppy at best, if you can even connect a call, this is going to be the next mega-craze for smartphone usage. The Evo, Iphone 4 and a small handful others are a few that can video chat now. The quality is about as poor as pre-T1 speed webcam chat but will only get better. Soon, it will be as common as having a camera on your phone. You can't even find a phone today without a camera (they even have flashes that rival your actual camera). I would have preferred companies spent more R&D and fine tuned the concept first, but I credit these folks who pushed to be the first.

Tethering: It's bad enough that att charges you additional fees to do this, while other providers don't but with the tethering option, coupled with an unlimited data plan, you could make a wireless hotspot right at home without a cable or dsl internet plan. You can even use it anywhere with your laptop like an air card. You would definitely need an unlimited plan for this, otherwise whats the point? You think cell phone internet eats a lot of data imagine your computer internet usage? It transfers information to and from your computer even when you're not doing anything.

Video Texting: Att has a phone called "The Shine" and there are a few others that can already insert video into a txt message. Not a hyperlink, not an attachment. Yes. The actual video as streamline as those messages with pictures in it. After thinking "how fricken cool is that?" my inner nerd (shut up Denisha! He's inner I say!) couldn't help but think "that is going to consume a lot of data. Email can't even do that yet w/o youtube.

Wifi: If your wondering why you walk around with 2 spare batteries and bring your charger EVERYWHERE, its bc you probably have your WAP or wifi set to "on". Wifi is much faster than 3G (since its using a different network than what you use for voice) and can handle greater data transfers. This is perfect if you're trying to save $$ bc you can opt out of a data plan and just pick up a reliable wifi signal just like you do with your laptop. So what's the Achilles heal here? See first statement: since its doing more work and constantly checking for more reliable networks, its exorbitantly taxing on battery life, rendering it an unattractive option. As networks get faster and faster, unless companies do something to improve power management, more and more ppl will rely more on their data plans.

Blackberry Messenger: Yall know by now that if bbm was a woman, I'd massage her feet daily. I'm seriously about to get rid of or lower my txt msg plan (I haven't bc I had a conversation similar to this with myself) bc everyone I talk to most is on bbm. You can already have group chats, conference chatting, file sharing, send images, files and even record voice notes back and forth (how's that for a spin on free international conversations; feel free to steal that; you're welcome) its only a matter of time before video chatting is an option.

Multi Media Messages: Show of hands, how many ppl have more than 3 megapixels on their phone cam? Ok, now how many ppl have a phone cam that rivals most digital camera's? I remember when 3.0mp came out in the art/graphics/photography world, that was the death of "point and click" cameras and the 5.0+ was the nail in the coffin for film (outside of industry preference). Now they are making 5-10mp HD cameras on cell phones. Better quality = larger files = more data required to send those picture msg we send so frequently, a la "hey I bought some bomb ass new shoes - CLICK:::SNAP:::SEND- see!!??" You may not exceed 2gigs a month NOW, but 2 phones down the line you may. Which leads me to my last point:

Most users are oblivious of their data usage: Can anyone quantify the txt equivalent of 20 bytes of data?.......... The Final Jeopardy answer, "how are you?" I know this bc I had extensive conversations when trying to figure out an international data plan. Images and attached files are easy bc they tell you the file size but how much data is a 2 minute streaming video, Facebook page or even this blog? Plus these newer phones can do more like view flash, allowing you to watch hulu or netflix on your phone.

Sidenote: wifi and netflix kills my laptop battery life what pillage and desecration will it do to my poor wee lil cell phone battery?

Rumor has it that other carriers are looking to follow suite with the tiered data pricing. If history repeats itself, they may eventually bring back the unlimited plans as data/network supply catches up to consumption demands.....but what if we don't. Do we as consumers need to usher into a new era of limits, restriction, become more cognizant (thanks lady in red) and responsible and considerate about our data ussage?.............................................................MAAAAAAAAAAN, [UGHFFF] DAT!!! As much as we're over charged?!! Shooooot, I'll take a picture of my hand giving a middle finger, attach a voicenote of me singing "lalala," type "how are you" 100 times, and bbm that bitch to Mars if I damn well please!

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Stop quoting the 80-20 Rule from Tyler Perry. HE GOT IT WRONG!!

I'm getting sooooooooo bleeping tired of ppl abusing the "Pareto Principle" which you have undoubtedly heard at one time or another as the "80-20 Rule," probably another reason why I dislike Tyler Perry, I digress. Vilfredo Pareto was an Italian economist (I don't remember when, look it up on your own or the companies dime on wiki) who did a study that revealed that 80% of the wealth in his town, most of Italy and many others places was controlled by 20% of the population, leaving 20% of the wealth to be dispersed and fought over amongst 80% of the population (today its like 1% controlling 99% of the worlds wealth; sad I know). It doesn't stop there. In government and any organization, 20% of the ppl make 80% of the decision. On a team or a company, 20% of them will produce 80% of the value and worth (this is why one company will pay some ppl a few million and while a few million get laid off). Applied to a contemporary context, I'd say 80% of your emails are trivial (even more for me if you knew my friends), you talk to 20% of your addressbook 80% of the time. You wear 20% of your wardrobe 80% of the time. See where else this applies in your world. Have at it, take it to town.

The theory in the movie "Why did I get married" states that if you find a man/woman who has 80% of what you're looking for with 20% missing, you should neglect or stomach the 20% and focus on the 80. So based on Pareto's principle, he's telling you to be sheep and not shepherd and to quote one of my favorite thinkers of all time, Thomas Jefferson, "the masses or asses" (hence the inception of the electoral college...I forgot how much I loved history.I digress). So when he tells his woman "baby, you're my 80," Paretoeanly speaking (jus made that one up muhself) he basically calls her trivial.

Perry missed the entire point in its entirety, ENTIRELY. The point is the critical few versus the trivial MANY. The point is that the 20 percent, even though seemingly inconsequential in number, is more valuable and critical than the overwhelming 80, hence why its referred to as the vital few vs. the trivial many, or "Pareto efficiency." You're SUPPOSED to spend 20% of your time on the trivial 80 and 80% of your time/energy/money/effort on the 20% which will yield you 80% of you total value (hope I'm not losing anyone). I used to teach this in my time management and leadership trainings so I was wondering why in every conversation on relationships, ppl keep quoting this...erroneously.........and citing Tylyer Perry? That's like saying The RrChitect's first law of thermodynamics is energy is created and destroyed!! Like Sir Issac Newton never existed. And even worse, I have legions of ppl ignorantly quoting me on that like its the gospel.

If I hear one more person telling me that they are going to stay in some seriously effed up relationship bc of a few good things, I'm going to scream. If you're not happy, you're not happy, PERIOD!!! It's like a single negligible drop of water that if ignored and continued dripping over time will collapse an entire building (our second physics lesson for the day is on pressure over time: F=MA M'Fa's!!). Some things are petty and resolvable but some things are just irreparable. It kills me bc with so many good ppl not getting a chance for trivial reasons, you have these flying camel turds who getting away with murder and their man/woman won't leave them.

Sidenote: I'm not sure what's worse. Me making physics jokes or the one or two other nerds who are rolling on the floor laughing at them right now. I'm a closet nerd. SHHHHHH!

So whats the take away after all my complaining? Good question little Timmy, I'm glad you asked. If you have an 80-20 situation, first of all, slap the first person who quotes Tyler Perry (hell, even Steve Harvey has better relationship advice). Secondly, please take the history lesson and correct anyone you hear quoting this erroneously and stop using it. I understand it makes for mellow dramatic soppy crap, but if you're going to quote a reputable theory, citation please, and get it right. Perry should have just changed it all together so call it the 70-30, 90-10, 9-1 rule or something, and make it your own. Finally, ask yourself, is it a TRIVIAL 20 or a VITAL 20 and that, my friends, will tell you exactly what you need to do. Too many ppl are ending relationships over a trivial 20, and even more are sustaining despite a vital 20. I don't know about you, but if I heard that the pilot CRASHED 20% of the time and landed 80%, I'd forfeit my seat for the next stand by.

Sidenote: Nerd Moment #2 - If something is TRIVIAL, all it takes is the removing one or two of the RIght elements, and you can reprioritize it into something VITAL...............

MESSAGE!!!!

PSA: DEATH TO BBM CHAIN MAIL!!!

This was a malice that I thought had passed around freshman year of college. After you curse out enough friends, pretty much everyone in your address book in your email account should know by now not to send pointless spam. Right? WRONG!!

The menace has re-surfaced, transcending the email realm and has infiltrated the once sacred sanctuary of Blackberry Messenger (BBM). For those who don't know, BBM is an exclusive, internal service for blackberries. Since it communicates via the phones pin number through web/data service, you txt in an instant msg platform anywhere in the world for no extra charge. Kinda like VOIP, for txt msging. Unlike gchat, aim or msn, its not inviting a third party application requiring migrated screen names and passwords, and the only way you can establish connection is through direct invite and authorization. Twas once sacred :(

About 3-4 yrs ago, in the golden era, facebook was still private, and the only ppl who had blackberries were actually serious ppl about serious business. But since then, all di damn sidekick babies grew up and realized the fisher price "My first smartphone" made you look like 12 year old at the office, and hopped onto Blackberries.....bringing all their sidekick-ass habits along with them. SN: I ABHORRED!! SIDEKICKS. It all makes sense now! Why did I not figure this out until just now.

Think about this, 4 yrs later, I have over 100 contacts on bbm. Don't dwell on that, just open Friends vs "Friends" in a new tab, keep it moving and read later. Same concept. If the message says, "send this to everyone on your list, except me, bc I did my part" (clever) thats over 100 ppl sending me the same stupid message at once! Sometimes I need to silent, not vibrate, silence my phone bc it sounds like a flipping sex shop in my pocket. Some ppl say I need to calm down, its not that serious, and I agree. One of my biggest pet peeves in the galaxy is repeating myself excessively. So I do not understand that if one person requests that you not include them on something, multiple times, explicitly verbalized dislike and annoyance, what is sooooooooooooooooo difficult about respecting that person's wishes? It gets worse. The latest version of bbm invented the "broadcast" so one monkey-nut gorilla can simply send one pointless foolish msg to the entire list in one stroke.

I kinda understand you want to share a good joke but very few and far in btwn. I dont need "joke of the day." The "send this to 300 ppl or my deity will kill you" msg need to stop, but the worse is the erroneous information that lazy ppl wont even take two seconds of due diligence to confirm before blasting it to everyone. IF there is a number or a email, check the thing before you fwd info that may make you look like a less credible, fraudulent ass. Someone broadcast a number about some discounts that turned out to be a recording telling you how stupid you are for falling for it. Someone fwd' me info about job offers and didn't even realize there was a 9 digit phone number, no email and not even a name of the company hiring :\ A great fact checking, myth-busting resource to double check is www.snopes.com. BBM, facebook, gmail and aol (for the fossils who still use it) is not deleting accounts who don't fwd a blasted msg. It's been almost 15 yrs and I can't believe that ppl still believe that Bill Gates will give you all $$$ for forwarding a msg. "No trust me! It works!"

Fight fire with fire! If I've asked you not to spam me and they don't get the hint, I send ppl photographs and audio clips of things that I will not speak of, but lets just say you wouldn't want to open up on your phone. So please, please PLEASE stop spamming ppl with junk and bbm'ing "wolf" then wonder why no one responds to you when you need them. Keep that up and you're going to find pictures of poop on your phone next time you open it.

Some ppl need to be demoted back to txt msg, email and phone status.

Know your strengths, OWN your weaknesses

[From the Blackberry Chronicles]

Sidenote: Everyone at some point should do a SWOT analysis- strengths, weaknesses, obstacles, threats. Tough to do on yourself so you may need some third party help.

Sidernote: FYI, there are about 30 blogs written on my phone at any given time that with a 10 minute polish are ready to be posted. So if I ever meander for too long, just shoot me a hoot and I'll supply. Thanks Malissa........wait! What the hell did I just do?!!

I hear far too often from the feminine species:
"I need a booty!"
"I wanna be taller!"
"I wanna be shorter!"
"I need more breast!"
"I need to lose my gut....even tho I'm doing nothing about it and rrchitect clearly outlined everything I need to do to do that!"
And the list goes on for days. I can't blackball the ladies bc everywhere you look there are "performance enhancers, male enhancer" daggering medication for men so clearly the demand is there as well. We just don't complain, we find solutions (ooooooooh SNAP!).

Sidenote: That must be the mf'ing running man theme song!

Here's the funniest part. I almost never hear this from my heftier, homely, moderate and even flat out unattractive female friends. Its always, and I mean ALWAYS from hot, attractive, educated, successful got it going on, five star, bad chick women. What the hell!? Its bad enough you got a booty that can double as a night stand and own your own business. Its bad enough you got more degrees than a thermometer and enough breast to nurse a litter of pot belly pigs and or small impoverished towns. Its bad enough you have a vogue worthy face, and graduated from Oxford Summa, Cum Laude with a 12% bmi. NO!! You wanna monopolize ALL of the good traits. What kinda greedy ass, Sam Catchem, "gotta-catch-em-all" Pokemon-ass women are yall? Is this the same over-achiever instinct that propagates some self imposed sense of entitlement?

We truly need to spend less time focusing on what we don't have and concentrate more time and energy on what we do have.

Sidenote: Woah! Had to catch myself there. I could have easily slipped down that slope of making this about relationships but I'll let yall connect those dots yourself......la lalala. If not, see "NEXT!"

Ever stop for a second to think, maybe, just maybe there is some higher metaphysical reason why you DON'T have said trait? What kind of person would you have been if you had all these? Would being "prettier, sexier" make you an uglier person? Would you be happier with what you THINK you want, at the cost of who you are today? Perhaps the absence of certain elements fueled your drive, direction and most important, character? For a happier day, rather than curse your curses, bless your blessings. The lord has his own system of checks and balances.


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Psa stop using headsets if not visible!

[From the Blackberry Chronicles]

Grandpa Rant # 358-J
You know what grinds my gears? I don't understand. Cell phones are getting smaller n smaller (yet they manage to squeeze a camera and mp3 player in all of em) so why are we gettin lazier and lazier? We had no problem with the coiled kitchen phone (stretching it to the bathroom for privacy), holding it between our shoulder and neck.

Sidenote: were you ever mid conversation and the phone sliped out and went flying across the room?....... Ok I'm really dating myself now. Some readers are all like "when did phones have cords?" Don't get me started on rotary phones.

We had no problem with holding up those Zack Morris satellite phones that look like you're calling in a military air strike. However, our weak feeble hands cannot sustain the 0.4 lbs phone we now own, so we need head sets.

Sidenote: 3.5 yrs ago I bought my mom a phone and it was absolutely impossible to find a phone without a camera. Soon it will be impossible to find a non qwerty phone with web browser, data, mp3 and souljah boy ringtones.

Sidernote: Am I the only one that thinks the bluetooth is not a fashion accessory and undergoes extreme scratch-headedness whenever seeing one when no call is underway?

Yes I'm venting for no reason bc I'm sick of thinking ppl are talking to me or just crazy and talking to themselves. Especially if they have long hair that covers the headset. I'm not talking about driving or course, where its mandated in most areas, I mean regular willy nilly having a convo with you but has his headset on Harry Nelson. Hands-free headsets were designed to.....well.....free your hands, to do other things. If you're using your free hand.......... to hold the phone...well that's kinda counter intuitive now, aint it?

This has been brought to u by "Random Hate Thursdays," and of course loyal support and contributions by "Viewers Like You!"

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Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 6 [From theThe Blackberry Chronicles]

Previously in My $0.02................... Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 1

Followed by.................................Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 2

Then..................................Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 3

and............................................Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 4
And last time .......................Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 5


One of my biggest pet peeves is SPOILERS, so without giving one, everyone needs to see the movie "Brothers" with Tobey Maguire and Natalie Portman to truly understand the frustration and annoyance I experienced. See the climax of the story, then re-read this blog. If you have seen the movie....... keep in mind the most disobedient and unruly act in the history of children on film. What would provoke ppl to act the fool, wilding out in public, carrying and having fits.........what causes all of this?

Theory #6: No beatings!

At some point in time we decided that its inhumane to whoop our kids asses in school (despite the fact that every other country that does it kicks our butt in education) then it trickled into the households. My brothers and I grew up with beatings (we called it "licks) like we grew up on milk. We were never the type to act up in public, throw a temper tantrum rolling on the floor kicking and screaming. We got our asses kicked for far lesser infractions and my parents were never the type to beat in public. Could you imagine the thrashing that would have ensued when we got home if we pulled that tomfoolery?

Children, correction, babies do not understand English! Or any other verbal language you raise your kids around. They read, understand and interpret feelings. Socket example: [theses are little esoteric notes I leave myself in shorthand to remind me to add content....why am I leaving this? Why am I explaining this???] If you see an infant heading towards a fork....red flag.........the child has it....red light are flashing..........if the child with the fork is near a socket....the alarms are blazing by now, do you talk to the child, or do you slap the fork out of its flapping hand? Ppl sometimes respond best to action. This applies well into the early 20's with most ppl. Cognition isn't necessarily indicative of understanding.

I remember reading about a child who misunderstood what was said at school and called child services bc their parent punished them. What kid in my generation would have had the cajones to do that? First of all, you pick up a phone during a beating in my house you won't make it to the second "1" and you just inherited a new pummeling device once the phone was snatched out your hand. Secondly, how many of us heard the threat that if we successfully dialed, there would be nothing left for 911 to save once they got here? Third, we live in the hood. 911 aint coming no time soon. The folks could get in 3 rounds and intermissions by the time they arrived on the scene. The cost/benefit analysis was heavily imbalanced.

Now you have all these child disorders that keep psychiatrists gainfully employed, pharmaceuticals companies profitable and grad school/phd students funded. I have self diagnosed myself with ADD. A.D.D. = As I speak, I am on a train, mentally packing for my trip tomorrow, listening to some dance tracks and choreographing routines in my head. And working on ANOTHER reason why kids are so blasted dumb bc they're interrelated....but I digress.

If I had homework and I couldn't focus here are some surefire cures to ADD:

• Finish your homework or imma whoop that ass!
• - or I'll throw away all your toys!
• - or I'll throw away all your comic books!
• - or no TV, video games for you! [Sidenote: You remember when being sent to your room was a form of punishment? With my brothers and my creative asses, my parents punished us by making us come out of our rooms.....and watch the news.....and Jeapordy....and read]
  
• Pass this test or you'll fail
• Pass this class or you'll lose your scholarship!
• Do well in this class or you'll be kicked out of school!
• Finish this project or you're fired!
• Make this money or you'll lose you're house!
• Get this calculation right or ppl will die!

You think time and all these circumstances care what your conditions are?

So for the love of God, whoop yo kids monkey ass ( and their asses sure are monkey!) bc they need to understand consequence, causality and penalties. You think I'm evil? Send your kids into the world with no regards for respect and limitations..............then you wonder why yo lazy ass roommates don't wash dishes for days on end! Got yo place smelling like frog placenta.....no? No good? Too much?

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PC vs MAC...My $0.02

Today's Corn and Cheese: "Just like my profile pic, I'm back!"

Good news/Bad news:

Good: I got a new laptop after a long and extensive search!!!
Bad: I've upgraded to Windows 7 from XP.

Dont get me wrong, 7 is awesome, for new users, but I feel like it forgets us fossils who have been using windows for 20 yrs. This is only bad bc I feel like a digital encino man, emerging from some comatose hibernation. I successfully avoided windows vista like the plague, and after years of usage and comparative analysis, I can't convince myself to shell out MAC money. I'm sorry, but I refuse to pay Vacay money on hardware for sex appeal. To me, more than half the joy in anything I own is the crackhead price I more than likely paid for it (ask me how much it costs or is worth, not how much I paid for it). I've used both platforms at the highest level of performance (video capture and editing, sound editing, audio production, CAD, 3D modelling and rendering, downloading and viewing porn, web surfing, digital photography, graphic design and video gaming to name a few) and despite what the quirky nerdy, yet lovably cool guy in the commercials would have you believe, MACs have just as much problems as pc's and will crap out on you just the same at the least opportune time. In fact, it may prove even more problematic bc when your mac does have problems, you have fewer ppl around with the knowledge and tools to fix them (sorry, my pc geek squad is to vast n deep - thats what she said). I have a friend who was without his macbook for over 2 weeks for some simple problem that I could have walked down the block and fixed on a pc.

Since I already discpelled the performance objections, here are the major selling points I keep hearing for macs:

"Macs dont get virus' and spyware" FALSE! Technically, the real answer is "yes and no." If you listen carefully, they tend to say macs are safe from "PC viruses".....which is true. They do in fact get virus' malware and trojans. Although it is rarer to non existent compared to pc's, it does happen and when, or if it does, it can be terminal or infinitely more difficult to fix bc the lack of an antivirus program to differentiate good or bad. Kind of like those cities that shut down for half an inch of snow. However, with the increase in mac users of late, there has been an increase, hence the development of mac antivirus and malware programs like Snow Leapord.
REF: (Since Nicole said I dont do any "blasted research")

http://www.switched.com/2009/09/01/apple-quietly-admits-macs-get-viruses/

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Do_macs_get_viruses

http://www.betanews.com/article/Macs-dont-get-viruses-myth-dissolves-before-publics-eyes/1251493625

Sidenote: She's absolutely right, I dont do research. Ppl get paid to do that, this is fun. My research is life, and occasionally I find and provide supplimentary documentation....for what I already know.

"You can run a virtual PC/windows emulator on a mac" Stupid question, if you want to run a PC so bad, why not get a flippin PC? SURPRISE BISCUITS! PC's can run mac OS too! (The industry or trade lingo for it is "HACKintosh." I think its kinda cute. Dont endorse hacking so you'll have to look that up on your own).

"Its so much simpler" Remember this, "user friendly" = dumbed down. Yeah, and so is a car, but if you give one to a teenager who can barely drive, doesn't know how to handle the transmission, check the fluids and maintenance the car, keep the payments up, obey traffic laws, park properly and stores a bunch of crap in it, can we agree that the problem MAY....just MAY not lie in the car? We should have defensive PC courses.

Folks, I'm not anti-mac, but heres a selling point a MAC user can never use: PRICE. I know ppl with $2000 table settings/paperweights that will never even use $1000 worth of its capabilities.....but sure looks cool. If you browse the internet, email, use office software, listen to music and store photos, you really shouldn't pay more than $500-700 on a desktop or laptop, AND it'll handle ample porn. MAC's are amazing machines for certain applications, but I'm sorry, I can't justify spending 2k on a low end or base model MAC, when 2k in PC boards, and hardware could build a beast of a computer. If you absolutely have to have the MAC platform, be my guest. To each his own, just buy it for the right reasons and not for fad or this false smear campaign going. Reminds me of the cola wars of the 80's.

Sidenote: I'm not a pervert, I'm a realist. Any straight man who has a computer, on the internet, has porn on his computer. If he denies, he's lying or has some serious social, interpersonal issues. He may not feel comfortable sharing bc society demonizes porn, but I have 3 easy steps to expose anyones pc, even the most horndog MIT summa cum laude. Either that or he's telling the truth bc he streams it straight from the net or keeps it in some hidden external drive.

But now back to this windows 7? It's like walking into your room and somebody cleaned and moved all your stuff and nothing is where you put it or know it to be. Can I get some one on one consultation? Apparently the strategy here was to make it more "user friendly" which is simply industry term for "we dumbed it down for dummies...ya big dummy!"....which is why macs only have one button on the mouse, and come in single units at times, bc God forbid you should be burdened with connecting clearly labeled and color coded cables together (they even have little pictures to show you what plugs into what).

Will you be my windows 7 sponsor, hold my hand and walk me through this? Do I need to get a windows 7 for dummies or a Win7 Rosetta Stone to get up to par? They don't even come with books anymore. Off to the internet I go (GO GREEN!). Has it really been 6 yrs since my last pc? I'm getting through, but it seems like everything takes at least 30% more time to do. Saying all this to say, I've been on some real brain flatulence the last few days while I migrate all my files. When that's done and squared away, I'll resume some of the wholesome blog goodness, gems, thingies that I've had in the cue for a while.

My initial reaction:

Sidenote: Ooooh! Now that I have a laptop, can I be one of those pretentious bloggers who sit in coffeeshops, sip drinks with mocha and appachino in it, and blog in public all day long? Bc there is no better productive environment more conducive to creativity than a loud, public, high traffic public area with hundreds of side conversations and distractions.

Sidernote: GRRRRR!!! WHy is a simple copy and paste so difficult!!

Sidestnote: MMMMMM! I looooooove mocha and appachinooooo aaaarrrgghhghgh!!!

TOS: Facebook owns you. Get over it. Here's how.........Part 2

Previously on "My $0.02"............TOS: Facebook owns you. Get over it. Here's how.

ADDENDA!!! - 04/14/10

So here's a shocker, over a year to the date I originally wrote this, facebook has a whole new interface, look at navigation. YAAAAAAY....pay attention, they took away more rights.

Have you noticed that you're getting more random solicited friend requests and msgs from strangers, stalkers and ex's you've been trying to avoid? Are all the ppl you've tactically blocked finding you? Well, Mr. Zuckerburg and co., who are admitted huge fans of Twitter (insert frowny face emoticon) did away with many of your our privacy settings YET AGAIN. Gee......what a shocker....this is outrageousssss [insert uproar].

Sidenote: Why do I have a feeling that Twitter will bring about the fall of
mankind?

Well have we been violated? Well yeah, if you haven't read TOS: Facebook owns you. Get over it. Here's how. and applied those simple tips to safeguarding your information. For additional not-be-a-moronomics, also revisit: PSA: "Facebook/myspace/twitter/Blackplanet ruined my relationship." However, since the playing field has changed, we must now adapt. Here are a few more pointers that can help safeguard your privacy. Please, feel free to add any that you may have discovered.

Sidenote: The real question or rather commentary to ponder on your way home is, if you decided to make a public personal page on the World Wide Web (www.) then why in Lou Farrigno, are you so concerned about privacy, but I'm not going to be a jerk to point fingers and ask questions. I'm just saying. Personal accountability ppl.

-PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE take the year out of your birthday! I know I mentioned taking all biographical information out of your page, but for those reading for the first time (and the hard headed alike) along with your other info....which we encouraged you to take out, this is the last piece of the puzzle for your friendly neighborhood identity thief.

-Re-visit your privacy settings. A lot of them are still there, but have somehow, mystically been set to "public." Most of them are just a click away.

-Limited profile. I don't think ppl utilize this feature nearly enough. Some ppl, you just need their contact, but they don't need an all access backstage pass.

-Disable tagged pics. I did this for a project that was under great scrutiny.......but now that the project is over, I think I'll leave it the way it is. I think my photo albums and profile pics are more than enough for someone to identify me.

-Toggle your photo settings. I recently found out that a lot of my albums were reset to public, when a friend told me how her friend spent some time going through my photo albums. Make sure they're all set to "friends only."

-Stop linking accounts. I'm very wary about anything that requires putting a screenname and password from another account. Whats the point of a pseudonym or an avatar if it's linked to your biographical info? Is anonymity the modern duck-billed platypus?

-Disable your wall. What better way to keep raggedy comments off your wall, then to not have a wall? I see more and more ppl doing this..........or maybe they just put me on "limited profile" :-S

If worse comes to worse, I supposed you can delete ppl. I've clicked on contacts before only to find that we were no longer contacts anymore. No fall out or disconnect, they just decided our one or two interactions were not enough to bless me with the honor of their facebook page. Can't blame em. But once again, the greater question is, what are you so afraid of revealing? Are you a douche who goes through great painstaking lengths to conceal it? Hell, if a fugitive can evade authorities while updating his facebook page AND build a fan page with over 10,000 followers, what are YOU worried about simple person?

REF:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/europe/12/23/uk.fugitive.facebook.prison/index.html
http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/facebook-fugitive-taunts-police-while-on-the-run-20091229-lhyn.html
http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-10434345-71.html

Sidenote: He probably got caught by signing up to Twitter.
Sidernote: My friend and I have a number of theories where he may be hiding. Remind me to share.

Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 5

Previously in My $0.02................... Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 1

Followed by.................................Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 2

Then..................................Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 3

and............................................Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 4

Here's a baby. Look at the baby!! LOOK AT THE BABY!! Cute aint she? (Scientific studies of extensive researching stuff state that cute babies are soothing on the eye and make ppl more susceptible to accepting theories) One of my newest cousins. Can you believe this little jerk doesn't like me? YET!? She's one of those stoosh "Imma play shy in front of company" types. But the one in the back is one of my favorite little girls in planet. Now its one thing to be ignored by the newbie (she'll come around sooner or later), but my fav was in another world bc as you can see, she was enthusiastically programming all her contacts into her new cell phone. This led to a very intriguing discussion btwn us about usage and habits of why a 12 old needs a cell phone. Which leads me to theory #5:


Theory #5: Everyone has cell phones

This might seem minoot, but technology impairs our memories. When I was in high school, I had about 40 numbers memorized at the tip of my tongue at any given time. Now, if you lose you phone, you might as well be in a tunnel on Mars. Pop quiz: without looking at your phone, how many phone numbers do you know by heart? PS, you parents or home phone doesn't count. Don't cheat...well it doesn't really matter bc if you are cheating, its pretty self evident that you failed this little social experiment.

I recall correcting a teachers spelling in high school and I always remembered him saying, "wait until you're out of school and have been using spell check for a few years" and I laughed at his warning. Now, how many ppl can get through a document without that red squiggly line? On top of the mental address book, I also had everyone's birthday memorized. These days, if I didn't sign into Facebook, you more than likely won't get a birthday greeting from me.

Kids do not need cell phones for the same reason students don't need calculators. I'm old school so as far as I'm concerned, until letteration starts popping up and your math class starts looking like some english class typos, you don't need a calculator. WHY? Bc you impair, or rather, stunt your learning growth in the embryonic stages of cognitive thinking. Let's be clear. 70% of what you learn up until grade 12 is utter bs and will be of no use to you in life. It's not the content thats important, its the methodology of learning. If you bifurcate the two and focus solely on content, sans the methodology, you birth a generation of droid who basically are programed with RAM (random access memory) and no hard drive (long term storage) mental computation.

I digress.

Why are cell phones problematic? Other than all the reasons I stated above? The brain is like any muscle, and lack of usage leads to atrophy.......after development. Lack of usage before development can lead to impotence if not paralysis (didn't I tell you guys I had no regard for the english language? It's misuse and mishandleage? - quote from my open mic slam days - TEEHEE!). I mastered 258 ways to cheat and not get caught without technology. Who knows what tomwreckery the youtes are doing these days?

I won't even touch on smart phones. When we have a generation that can't answer a questions with any critical discernment bc we've replaced "thinking" with "googling." Sad forecast. An armada of smartphone in the hands of dunce users.

Reasons why they invented camera phones: NOT THESE FOOLS AGAIN!!!

Cant make this stuff up. And no, the images are not photoshopped. Across the street from the glorious Kings Plaza Mall in Brooklyn, (Kings County, get it?)........................















For the full comprehensive list of ppl that should be thrown out into the street and shot, please reference: Reasons why I always have a camera...LMAO!!!!!!

........................OR, if you're feeling lazy, I can stop being lazy and just relist them, HYAH!


List of ppl who must be thrown out in the street and shot:
The person who came up with it.
Their buddy who said "that's a great idea!"
The person who decided to put it on a highway
The person who designed the ad
The person who agreed to pay for it
The person who decided to use the 'O'

List of ppl who should be slapped, but you can't REALLY blame them:
The people who printed the sign (I want to know how they kept a straight face or were they laughing all the way?)
The people who gave the permit for the sign
the people who mounted the sign