Saturday, March 20, 2010

Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 5

Previously in My $0.02................... Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 1

Followed by.................................Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 2

Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 3

and............................................Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 4

Here's a baby. Look at the baby!! LOOK AT THE BABY!! Cute aint she? (Scientific studies of extensive researching stuff state that cute babies are soothing on the eye and make ppl more susceptible to accepting theories) One of my newest cousins. Can you believe this little jerk doesn't like me? YET!? She's one of those stoosh "Imma play shy in front of company" types. But the one in the back is one of my favorite little girls in planet. Now its one thing to be ignored by the newbie (she'll come around sooner or later), but my fav was in another world bc as you can see, she was enthusiastically programming all her contacts into her new cell phone. This led to a very intriguing discussion btwn us about usage and habits of why a 12 old needs a cell phone. Which leads me to theory #5:

Theory #5: Everyone has cell phones

This might seem minoot, but technology impairs our memories. When I was in high school, I had about 40 numbers memorized at the tip of my tongue at any given time. Now, if you lose you phone, you might as well be in a tunnel on Mars. Pop quiz: without looking at your phone, how many phone numbers do you know by heart? PS, you parents or home phone doesn't count. Don't cheat...well it doesn't really matter bc if you are cheating, its pretty self evident that you failed this little social experiment.

I recall correcting a teachers spelling in high school and I always remembered him saying, "wait until you're out of school and have been using spell check for a few years" and I laughed at his warning. Now, how many ppl can get through a document without that red squiggly line? On top of the mental address book, I also had everyone's birthday memorized. These days, if I didn't sign into Facebook, you more than likely won't get a birthday greeting from me.

Kids do not need cell phones for the same reason students don't need calculators. I'm old school so as far as I'm concerned, until letteration starts popping up and your math class starts looking like some english class typos, you don't need a calculator. WHY? Bc you impair, or rather, stunt your learning growth in the embryonic stages of cognitive thinking. Let's be clear. 70% of what you learn up until grade 12 is utter bs and will be of no use to you in life. It's not the content thats important, its the methodology of learning. If you bifurcate the two and focus solely on content, sans the methodology, you birth a generation of droid who basically are programed with RAM (random access memory) and no hard drive (long term storage) mental computation.

I digress.

Why are cell phones problematic? Other than all the reasons I stated above? The brain is like any muscle, and lack of usage leads to atrophy.......after development. Lack of usage before development can lead to impotence if not paralysis (didn't I tell you guys I had no regard for the english language? It's misuse and mishandleage? - quote from my open mic slam days - TEEHEE!). I mastered 258 ways to cheat and not get caught without technology. Who knows what tomwreckery the youtes are doing these days?

I won't even touch on smart phones. When we have a generation that can't answer a questions with any critical discernment bc we've replaced "thinking" with "googling." Sad forecast. An armada of smartphone in the hands of dunce users.

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