Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 1

YEAH I SAID IT!!

I can easily see myself as a future Bill Cosby, giving key note addresses at graduations in a sweat suit and slippers and cursing out the young generation.

I've been pondering this question for a number of reasons. First of which, if you're not up on "JUSTUS" comic, you really need to check out last weeks http://www.isitjustus.com/ comic "recreatioNULL"

So other than having every means of access at their disposal, we have an alarming increase in the rate of high school drop out, late graduations, and students reading below grade level. So I began looking at our society and amongst many reasons, here is a major one.

Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 1: NO G.I. JOE

I would love to give my parents ALL the credit for my fairly stellar upbringing, but they didn't get home till about 4-5pm. So alongside a host of wonderful cartoons, too many to name, the most influential was G.I. Joe. Let's ignore the latent pro-army/patriot, anti-terrorist, good vs. evil dialectics, the gratuitous fascination with guns (every man born btwn 1970-1989 can accurately mimic any gun noise with their mouth and easily identify a tech-9, mac-10, m-4, m-16, desert eagle, colt .45, glock .45, 9mm, .38, .22, Beretta, calico, ak-47, Uzi, or German Luger...to name a few.....or just anyone who grew up in "Reaganomics" Brooklyn). Let's ignore the fact that it was the most racist show in the history of TV (like I'm the only one who notices all the black ppl rapped or barbecued, and the one Chinese guy was bare-footed and while everyone had guns he carried throwing stars).

G.I. Joe did something that saved the lives of so many other children..........PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!! We live under the guise that "Common sense" is "COMMON." ITS NOT!! Look at just some of the valuable lessons GI JOE taught us:

  • Don't swim in a lake during a thunderstorm
  • Don't touch downed electrical lines
  • Don't accept offers or talk to strangers
  • How to stop a nose bleed
  • How to swim and not drown
  • Don't touch stray animals and not to run away if a dog approaches you, walk away slowly.
  • What to do if your clothes catch on fire
  • What to do if your house catches on fire
  • Don't stereotype and prejudge ppl
  • Don't hide in things that can potentially suffocate you (saved my life many a game of hide n seek)
  • And 15 others!!!!!!
I watched the GI JOE movie on dvd the other day and as an added feature it includes ALL ORIGINAL 25 PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS. OMG!!! I last night realized I quite possibly learned more from GI JOE than from any other one source in my life!!!!

At a latter time I will delve into the seemingly disturbing question as to why a Joe was always in a 2 minute radius of these children when something went wrong. I found it quite alarming that Wetsuit emerged from a lake as soon as the kids are about to get into trouble. Does he spend his free time observing kids swim from the bottom of lakes? Idunno. Damn pre-megan's law ass stalkers!!

"Thanks R! And now we know. "
"And knowing is half the battle!"

GEEEEEEEEEE.IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!!!!! [dunna dun da dnnnnnnn!!]

4 comments:

Hananie said...

Why is it that I don't really remember these psa's? I just remember that phrase "...and knowing is half the battle.". I have to agree though. Kids are dumb these days & the cartoons they watch are even dumber. When we were young almost all the cartoons had a dose of character & safety education (He-Man, GI Joe, even the Smurfs). Nowadays Edutainment is reserved for the very young. They go from Sesame Street to Sponge Bob, the dumbest, most purposeless cartoon in the history of dumb cartoons. Its a conspiracy!

The Incomparable Shakespeare said...

HILARIOUS!!! The PSAs were quite funny when I come to think of it. The thing is, all cartoons back then had some big allegorical moral lesson hidden in their episodes. I even remember Snarf of Thundercats teaching me something or the other. LOL

Lyrical Laureate said...

"all the black ppl rapped or barbecued"'

SERIOUSLYYYYYYYYY?!! roflmao

Lyrical Laureate said...

p.s. u sooo gotta listen to lupe fiascos "just might be okay" from the FOOD & LIQUOR album. Its pertinent. and look up the lyrics if need be.