Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 2

The second installment in our investigatory series dedicated to solving the quagmire [GIGGIDY!!] of our time.

Previously in My $0.02................... Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 1

Now...............
Sidenote: You know your a dweeb when something happens and your first thought is "I can't wait to get on my pc and write a blog about this....". And your an uber dweeb if you type it up in the memo application on your bb or phone, email it, proof in on your pc an post when you get home or to a computer

Another sidenote: how the hell do you start a conversation with a sidenote?
Shout out to Karen Phillips for mentioning about this one. You accelerated it on my list, however, the bus ride I got off of made me think of it too. There were 3 "youts" on a bus (boy-approx 15-17, girl-approx 11-13, boy-approx 8-10) all talking about who fights more and comparing who's knuckles were more bruised n darkened.
Sidenote: I wanted interject and correct the eldest young man on his form. You should never land a punch with last two knuckles of your fist (as they are merely attached by cartilage) but instead you must aim to connect with your first two, pointer and middle fingers (since these are actually securely anchored into your forearm) to inflict maximum damage and minimize risk of self injury........ Then I caught myself and agreed that that would be more so fueling the flames of ignorance than imparting knowledge so I decided to hold my tongue and let it be.

another side note: this is my new format for "sidenotes". I figured typographically it works. What do you think?
Granted every generation has its knuckle heads, numbskull's, and plain addle brained idiots, but why are these kids not home at 9pm (granted this was on Presidents day but still)? Which leads me to theory # 2

Theory 2: No quality after school programs.

When I was young, you couldn't PAY me to hang out after school. Matter of fact, I didn't even realize ppl actually did that until about 6th or 7th grade. I had no time to get into trouble, I had to race home to catch my cartoons, NO QUESTION! My roster varied from years to years. Examples:

3pm - G.I. Joe (if you wanna know how much I heart that show check this out).
3:30pm - Transformers. Extra-terrestrial bi-pedal cybernetic organisms, or rather autonomous robots (Auto+bots) that transformed into vehicles, cities and any other inanimate object in order to disguise and blend into our environment - GREATEST FRICKEN CARTOON CONCEPT....EVER!!! Worthy of its own blog...hmmm......
Sidenote: Watch any old Transformer or G.I. Joe episode now as an adult and you'll see why my generation and I always had a monster vocabulary.
But I digress......

4:00pm Video Music Box - another staple in NYC growing-up-ness. For those of us who didn't have cable and waaaaaaay before run dmc, waaaay before "Yo MTV Raps", The Source and eons before the God-awful atrocious atrocity we know as BET, VMB held us down. VJ Ralph McDaniels kept us up to date with the latest rap videos, dances, politics and fashion trends.

Then there were other generations. Not quite the golden era, but you have to give props to Disney afternoon for holding a strong arm on after school action (Darkwing Duck, Gargoyles, Rescue Rangers, Ducktales, Gizmo Duck, Gummy Bears etc), the WB era of Tiny Toons and Animaniacs (another contender for my favorite all timer), Toonami and too many others to name.

And let's not forget the many valuable after school specials specifically designed to teach yo kids while you make your way home, prepare dinner and do all your parenting duties. Lessons like:
  • "You see little Timmy, there are good touches, and then there are bad touches..."
  • "Jus bc all your friends are smoking glass pipes doesn't mean you should too..."
  • "......and that's what to do if your teacher touches you little Jane..."
  • "Now that we've learned our lesson, what are we gunna do next time we find a gun in mommy and daddy's room?"
  • "Unless they're a doctor, you should not let anyone stick you with needles..."
[PAUSE]

Every single child program was designed to deliver a key valuable life lesson. You'd swear a panel of psychiatrists were on the team of writers. I believe Ren n Stimpy was the beginning of the end (coincidentally around the time I stopped going home for cartoons, started hanging out and got caught up in various nefarious urban stereotypical activities before turning my life around), inspiring an armada of badly drawn, poorly animated thick outlined cartoons with pointless plots and stupid brain cell killing characters. American animation went from being nominated for an Oscar for best film (Beauty n the Beast) to Beavis and Butthead and we've been spiraling downhill ever since. I don't care how tough you are, every human being I've ever met cried or at least teared a little when they first saw Lion King (however in a bit of irony, I laughed during a similar scene in Bambi) and if you didn't, then....then....your just evil! And a meanie! And you should die...okay too much. A meteoric fall of elephantine proportions.

What ever happened to the "Moral of the Story??" What do our kids learn from Pokemon and Yugi-Oh (promiscuity?...."gotta catchem all?".....no?...no good?.....too much?)? And for the life of me, why the EFF is Power Rangers still on the air?!! What's the incentive to even go home after school now? Where's the all-star line that has kids running home after school or has network television fallen prey to the avalanche of Judge "So n So," Judge Pookie and Judge Ray Ray 'nem?

Sidenote: Dora the explorer is THE SHIIIITTTT!!!!! Wonderpets are THE SHIIIITTTT!!!!! I never knew the hype about Dora, but I recently caught a few episodes..........hoooolyyy learning tools Batman! I love that show. When I have kids, they're watching nothing but Dora. Spongebob however,.......... I know grown women who love Spongey but I'm sorry. The only thing you can learn from that tomfoolery is be dumb, how do be dumber and new dumb shit to say. And you wonder why your littl'ins can't read at their level worth a shyeght!.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

2 comments:

The Incomparable Shakespeare said...

I agree. However, I've also had to accept the fact that this generations memories will be predicated on the 1st time they saw something very ignorant on youtube. Culturally things were incredibly different. You watched VMB and saw artists like KRS, Kane, and Slick Rick, who all had a sense of accountability for what they said and presented in their music. Now we have kids wanting to skeet on a girl's back b/c Soulja Boy said so. No decent programming, and artist that don't accept the fact that they're role models. Its a pretty sad state of affairs.

evyjazz said...

That's so true!!