Thursday, May 28, 2009

The True Reason why "50% of all marriages end in divorce"

I have a ton of photos just like this one. You've prolly seen similar sights all over your neighborhood too on and around garbage day. Seemingly mint conditioned tv's just laying around the streets all willy nilly. Some may even have a sign saying "free! take me" like the pic below. I'm pretty sure if you took one and plugged it in, they'd probably work just fine. I too am not without outdated tv, so I cannot cast any stones. As we previously discussed, antiquated technologies (and as it came up again) are being discarded left and right. Last year I too subscribed to the LCD/HD/1080p exodus myself, but cannot bring myself to throwing out a perfectly operable 16 yr old tube TV, one of my first major purchases. I told you guys I'm an admitted pack rat, so bear with me! So what the hell does any of this have to do with marriage? Its about damn time you asked! It's about the ideological Zeitgeist of the times. I came across this article this morning:
Couple Celebrate 81st Anniversary

Now when asked what the tips, advice and pearls of wisdom they may bestow, they sited basic common sensical things:
"We're always here for each other. It is all about give and take on both sides," Frank Milford said last year. "You need a happy outlook and to just get on with it. I don't know where the years have gone to. It's marvelous really."
The couple also credited "a little argument every day" for their long union.
Nothing to write to the Nobel Society about. So why is it that supposedly "50% of marriages end in divorce"???????????????????????????????????? I believe.........BECAUSE SOMEONE STARTED PUBLISHING AND BROADCASTING THAT "50% OF MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE!!!" Anyone who's successful at anything will tell you that 90% of success is dependent on your thoughts and how you think. You can't toe-dip something like marriage with "fingers crossed" thinking, you have to commit to making it work. So how can you expect your marriage to last when you're partner's hand is stead fast on the emergency eject switch? I once dated a girl who kept sighting this quote (which for the life of me I can't verify) which in hindsight, should have warned me to bail a whole lot sooner than I did. Most ppl give up on or quit on themselves before they even try. How many things or great ideas have you talked yourself out of bc you thought of a billion excuses why you can't do something or it wont work. OR even worse, allowed friends and family to do so?
Sidenote: Our biggest enemies our whole life (in school, relationships, business, work and fun) has been the eyes, ears, words and opinions of other ppl, sometimes even friends and families.
I knew a cable guy who came across a couple celebrating their 50 yr anniversary. Jaw dropped by what sadly today is an anomaly, he asked the secret. The gentleman merely said, "when we have a problem, we sit down and fix it. We work together and we don't go to bed until its worked out." Now what I find ironic is around the same time, some relatives of mine were about to sell and close down a once thriving electronic repair shop bc ppl just weren't coming back to pick up thier electronics. I'm talking huge tv's stereos, etc and rather than repair, ppl would rather buy a new (in some cases leaving the fixed item behind along with a huge deposit).

In most contracts or agreements, there is always an exit clause or window of cancellation, but most brokers, reps and sales ppl will never go over that part of the document with you in the closing. It's there in plain sight so its not illegal to not mention it. The reason being, if you give ppl an out, rather than fight, weather the difficulties and persevere, as Tony Robbins says best: "Human beings will take the path of least resistance over the path of pleasure and pain seven days out of the week." We might want to do some additional research as to where the term "irreconcilable differences" became so proliferate throughout the land.


Happiness is restored throughout the land!!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, it pleases me to announce..................AVG has continued their free anti-virus software!!!!!!!

Previously on "My $0.02"...............Signs that the sky is falling #3 (no more slacking on my journalistic duties!)

After consulting one of my tech ppl (or rather, more tech-ER than me), reading a press release and downloading the latest version, it appears that the company IS continuing the free service for the upgrade. There is a version to purchase but a free version of the latest software with all the virus, spyware, malware Tupperware and Delaware protection included.

So check it out at http://free.avg.com/

Great to see somethings staying the same. Whether it was public outcry (exposing exposays do work), or corporate integrity, the sky does not appear to be falling this day :)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Signs that the sky is falling #4

I WARNED YOU ABOUT THIS BEFORE!!!!

Previously on My $0.02.....................Signs that the sky is falling #1
"In the words of the ever wise, immortal Al Bundy, "slowly but surely, our freedoms are being taken away from us," as he recanted about simpler times when you can park on the street for free while he was complaining about parking meters. This is so true. Why are we so docile and supersizely, ez-passly passive?? If this happened in France, they'd storm the capital and streets and demand change. Don't be surprised when they start putting meters on our homes and start charging for air."
AAAAAAAAAND in Signs that the sky is falling #3 (no more slacking on my journalistic duties!)

we discussed how just like that, a service that was readily offered to us for free that many ppl got used to and acclimated to using for free decided to start charging all of a sudden.

Well here it is.

SIGN THAT THE SKY IS FALLING #4:
OXYGEN FOR SALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sidenote: this blogsite is being a brat and not allowing me to upload said photo, thus making for a very awkward hole in me piece. Not a fan. GRRRRRRRR!! This makes me cranky, so I'll add the photo later. Check back.

Sidernote: GOT IT!!

Taken at an "oxygen bar" in Vegas. It's a "to-go" personal use "scented flavored" oxygen serving. To the far right, you can see a poster displaying the delivery method, plastic tubes to the nose. This time I won't do so much explanatory explaining. Let's do some simple math. I live in a universe where 1+1=2 and 1+2=3. Always has, always will. May or may not make sense, but that is how I analyze and look at all things, mathematical or not and whether or not numbers are even involved. That being said, lets look at the quote from sign #1 and the central theme of sign # tree. If 1+3=4, where do you think we will go with this in the future? (Wow! I just realized this was sign #4 and the equation adds to 4........completely unintentional but welcomed)

Paranoid am I? Try telling that to the ppl who missed out on the the ground level of bottled water, a now billion dollar industry, bc they thought "egh, who'll pay for water when you can get it for free out the tap or from a stream?" Or try telling that to the millions of home owners on that dreadful day when the "water company" came and put a meter on the house and started charging you every time you shower, clean food, flush the toilet or open the sink. If you think that "THEY," i.e. corporate self servers and their profiteers, can't go about making you pay for something that you've enjoyed for free up to this point (hint hint AVG), I have a bridge for sale that I'd like you to take a look at. Talk to you later. I forgot that I have a ceiling to mop.


Signs that the sky is falling #3 (no more slacking on my journalistic duties!)

Previously on "My $0.02"..................Signs that the sky is falling #1
and.............................................
Signs That the Sky is Falling #2

Hell in a hand basket I tellya. IN A HAND BASKET I SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!

[insert theme music here]....seriously.....open in another window and let it play as you read.

Ok, so Obama is rock starring all over the world and internationally is the biggest thing since Paul McCartny and Ringo Star reunited. (sidenote...not exactly Mr. Current affairs huh? Gives you a good idea how long ago I wrote this). SO the Eff WHAT!!? Obama needs to get his black ass back home and mediate this stifling crisis. Let's continue our third installment in our dramatic dramatization, our investigatory investigation and exposing expose (or rather, expozay?)into the hemorrhaging economic debacle that is crippling our very way of life.......through an analytic analysis.

For those of you who don't know, AVG aka the poor mans Norton, has graced a generation of internet bloggers, chatter, emailers, file sharers and porn enthusiast with the blessings of free pc protection against virus' spyware, malware, shareware, tupperware, Delaware and other internet wares, malities or boo boos that can monkeywrench an otherwise seamlessly operating personal computer. Nowadays, unprotected internet usage is arguably just as lethal as unprotected sex.... and in some instances, moreso. AVG, through much unknown benevolence, has allowed users (private, home or personal) to download software that scans emails, your files and keep you safe from said cyber threats.....including Delaware.

SIGN THAT THE SKY IS FALLING #3 (oooh! "#" and "3" are on the same key, ahsum!!)
AVG IS NO LONGER FREE!!!!!!


Godzillaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

For the last few days, everytime I start up my pc, I get a pop up window notifying me that "as of april 12th my virus protection will no longer be free and if you don't hold our pockets like a good fish, we're gunna pull your pants down and let aaaall the inmates have a field day on you"................well I may exaggerate a little but you get the general message. For those of you who haven't fully digested the seismic ramifications of this action allow me to ellaborate.
If you never got a chance to use this great program, you never will......for free that is.
If you already have the program, its not exactly like they can go on your computer and yank it off now can they? However, no more will you bath in the glory of free virus information updates. This is the real bollocks choker.

Much like the flu (sidenote: I'm sooooooooo debating whether or not I'm going to even bother to attempt to touch this swine flu nonsense when more ppl have died from the regular flu this year already.........sidernote: I may be a tad biased, bc I been anti-hog for years) computer viruses come a new everyday, every year. And much like our bodies, our computers should have an immune system which is comprised of collected information of all our old flus as well as various minor strands we come into contact with everyday. Now imagine that your immune system was named AVG, and it decided one day.......lets just say arbitrarily April 12th, for arguments sake, they were no longer going to adapt and protect against any strand of flu beyond that date.

Now amidst all the cutbacks ppl are doing to stay afloat amidst this economic turmoil, from cutting down cable packages, cell phone plans, cancelling excess memberships, walking more, accepting dinner dates from guys you would typically say no to, (what!? don't act like I invented that one. I know tons of girls who only call CERTAIN guys or accept CERTAIN dates only when they're money's low or they dont feel like spending. Don't stone the messenger.) now millions of users have to now ad virus protection to the list of things we have to pay for. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Thanks AVG! You guys suck. I hope your CEO falls from somplace very high.....yet....not high enough to kill him.....just hurt him very bad....and lands on something very hard.........and preferably with sharp objects....but thats another conversation.....I digress.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

PSA: Women! RESPECT the D.N.O.

D.N.O = Dudes Night Out..........more from the crackberry chronicles....
"OOOOH! My first mistake was I wanted too much time.
I had to have em morning noon and night
If I would have know then the things that I know now,
I might not have lost the time I complained about" -en vogue
Fyi, many of my blogs stem from questions I'm asked as well as stimulating conversations. So feel free to ask any questions or suggest topics. This was a combo of both.

I adamantly believe for a healthy relationship to survive, you need your guys nights out and girls night out. Literally and figuratively....both sexes need both. Time with your "other" and locker room time with the same sex. We all need to agree on that as well as two rules. First rule: Shut up, n don't ask questions! "How was it" is the only question you get, at most, and no follow up! Any synonym of "cool," "aiiigh," or even just a syllable is an acceptable answer. Second rule: cameras stay home! I've seen many on both sexes go down in a glorious ball of flames bc of this.


Why is this so important? Good question, I'm glad you asked. Well with the exception of one couple I know who been together like 16 yrs.....over half their life and they're under 30, its safe to say your "other" has spent more time in their life not with you, than with you. Now I can't speak for women but I know men are territorial. We like to walk out a room or house and walk back hours, sometimes days later finding shit exactly where we left it. We don't like our seat or controls adjusted, some men don't even like to cuddle or share space. So when we do make that transition to share our world with someone else that's a big step. Celebrate your victory and be proud of yourself. Congrats, you are a catch. Take a bow. However, PACE YOURSELF. Baby steps (in football you get penalized for encroaching or false starts....basically making a premature advancement before the appropriate time to do so).
Sidenote: now before all you women jump down my throat, hear me out to the blasted end.

Sidernote: women who understand sports will understand men better then any other woman. We equate just about everything to sports. It's not a stupid game, its an analogy of life.
Now men tend to have a lot of "junk" laying around that we don't use. News flash women! Its not junk and I cannot stress that enough. Ex. The basketball, football, baseball, toys, cleats, rifles, the mountain bike our homeboys, etc. Why? Bc we like to break into our old ways from time to time. Do the things we used to enjoy doing that made us identify with who we were and associate with manhood. Just bc we haven't done something in a few weeks/months, doesn't mean its over with. Matter of fact, find solace in the fact that we enjoy your presence so much we voluntarily forsaken so much for you....but don't assume its gone.
Sidenote: there are fewer faster ways on earth to fall out of a mans good graces than disrespecting his habits, hobbies and possessions as "junk." Action figures, comics, porn and video games (just to name a few) had a valuable place in his world well before you showed up. We don't devalue your billion stuffed aminals, dozens of shoes and infinite makeup collections. Leave us be.
Men generally don't like change to begin with, or worse, induced change. We welcome adaptation, evolution and inclusion.....not transformation. We're odd creatures. We could've been well on our way to changing, but being told to is just enough to make us change our mind back and not change a thing (even I had to re-read that a few times so I hope yall got that point). So when in a relationship for some time, in order to not fully lose who we are (you know,.............. the guy YOU fell for), men need the occasional guys night. We need to (don't lynch the messenger) scratch, curse, talk smack, use the word "bitch," say things that we know you're not supposed to, that in any other environment gets you expelled, fired or arrested, make fun of things we know we shouldn't (old ppl, midgets, republicans, etc.), laugh at ppl falling, check out girls, talk about how hot some females are, critique sports, trade grooming tips, make fun of and harass our drunken friends who throw-up or pass out on the curb, fart n burp and just let our belts loose, doing all the masculine things we used to do under the "previous administration" (or lack there of) to no scrutiny.
Guys don't scrutinize one another, we just heckle and roast each other, which is welcomed bc it sharpens our wits and keeps us on our comedic toes.

In addition, here's an answer to the popular question, "you're in a relationship why do you hang out with so many single dudes?" Once you hang up your spurs its fun to live vicariously through the stories of your single cohorts. Men have this universal "TEAM" mentality, where even though you're on the bench or the skybox, you get just as excited about that game winning home run as the man who hit it. If your man is gunna cheat on you, he either will or won't. Has nothing to do with his friends. Friends may push you to go out or take one more drink, but they are not THAT influential.
Sidenote: you can always tell when a man has spent a lot of time with his female. He typically goes into the mode where she dresses him and even more obvious, his wits are dulled and his comebacks are weak, dry and slow when he is mocked and ridiculed.

Sidernote: in case you raised an eyebrow, yes I did in fact say "trade grooming tips". I lived with just about every race, ethnicity, and there are fewer procedures on earth, shy of surgery, more complicated than the black mans facial grooming ritual. So much so, that many black men will not shave themselves and only allow their barber to. This may consist of a plethora of before, during and after products/treatments/ tools. Don't believe me? Ask a well/clean shaved black man what they use and unless he's one of those anomalies who doesn't grow facial hair, I promise you they will say no less than 2 (sometimes as much as 4) separate tools or one with a billion different attachments. OR "my barber trims me up."
So next time he wants to go out (and it is unfortunate that in some instances, permission is required) just be the cool understanding chick that says "sure, go right ahead." You'll never find a guy complaining about his girl wanting to go out with her friends (unless its that stank bitch we hate that's always filling your head with doubt and suspicion.....and you're over there thinking you're man is the problem). He'll appreciate the understanding and look forward to coming home, even boast to his friends about what a great gyal he has. It can help alleviate or even prevent some of the nonsensical arguments I've discussed before.


REF:
PSA: "Facebook/myspace/twitter/Blackplanet ruined my relationship"

and “I don’t believe in lying…….but if I did, here’s how I would do it…”

The net results:

- Happier guy = happier girl
- He won't feel like he has to lie to you (and in most instances, men don't lie bc they wanna do something wrong, its usually bc stifling girls give em a hard time for doing all the simple innocent stuff they've always did......when you met them) and men hate feeling like they have to ask permission to do things.
Sidenote: never understood (guys or girls) who met their "other" at a club.......and now suddenly doesn't like when they go to..............clubs.
-And finally, after spending all that time with single guys, most men will remember all the reasons why they're NOT single anymore, value, appreciate and cherish you infinitely more.

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