Thursday, July 23, 2009

More signs of the hood

Previously on "My $0.02"......... "How do I Identify if I'm in the Hood or Not?" [from The Blackberry Chronicles]

In subsequent conversations, I realized there are a handful of hood iconography that slipped passed my initial diagnosis. Feel free to expound and share any that may come to your mind that you feel I may have overlooked. Some additional supplementary "hood" marquees....................
  • You have family, friends and associates who visit you or give you money to get them hair products that they themselves cannot find readily accessible in their own neighborhood.
Sidenote: Most commercial/chain supermarkets and pharmacies aaaaall have what I like to call the "HEY IM BLACK!!" section in the hair aisle, where you suddenly see all the black faces on the boxes, "Dark n Lovely," that one line of shampoo that pantene makes for black ppl in the brown bottle (very subtle pantene) "Sulfer 8," "Dr. Miracle" (shout out to Iman, my former student/classmate who's actually "Jr. Miracle") and du rags. However, if you want some motions, pomade, Jam, creme of satan....I mean nature or any type of locking know where you have to go. Shout out to Carrol's Daughter....I'm not big on endorsements, but I rocks with CD.
  • You can listen to, hear and distinguish gunshots from fire crackers and car crashes. Bonus points if you can identify the caliber just by the sound, e.g. "Was that a 22? Naw, that was a 3.8. Didn't you hear the echo?"
  • If you've ever come home to find a group of ppl you don't know chilling in front of your home, sitting on your steps or your car, and look at YOU like "what are you doing here?"
  • This is a big one and I don't know how I missed this before. It's so big that comedian Dave Chappelle even mentioned it in his stand up act. If it is late late late at night, and no one else is in the street, and you see a little child or a group of children just chilling. Don't be worried about the child, he is probably the most dangerous person out there. Only in the hood do you see little kids in the streets at the most un-Godly hours of the night like nothing is wrong. If you're not from the hood, I would be more worried for you than for them.
That's all I remember for now. Feel free to add more that I may have missed.

No comments: