Friday, May 14, 2010

Favorite Song in the World Right Now: Easy Access - Busy Signal


One of my guilty pleasures is pure ignorant obscene and vulgar music. It absolutely fascinates me that:
A - some ppl can think to make certain songs
B - they have friends and colleagues who say "hey that's a good idea"
C - labels who will pay for and produce it
D - ppl who will actually pay to obtain this music
E- there are radio stations and outlets that will play it

I am admittedly the Jack Sparrow of music, but hey, I see it as commonplace as nudity in art. I think theres a place for everything so I'm very long as i can dance to it sun!!

Saying all this to say:
A - don't judge me
B - the following song is not safe for work or to play around parents or mild mannered citizens.

I swear there's a cold war going on in Jamaica to see who can make the most obscene vulgar songs. No wonder Jamaica issued a ban about a year ago on obscenities on radio and TV. About time, hell you can go to jail in any other island for cursing on stage. Ask DMX. Other notable Busy Signal classics of equal, lesser or greater vulgarity:

Thursday, May 13, 2010

It's the MOST wonderful time...OF THE YEAR!!!

This is something you'd have to live in the northeast to appreciate. There's nothing like a stroke of warm weather to bring the nakedness out. Some ungrateful ppl in the west and down south, or wherever its relatively warm year long, tend to take these things for granted. Its not uncommon to see someone in Georgia or Florida wearing sweats on an 80 degree day. But here in New York...................the weather breaks 50..............AND WOMEN LOSE THEIR MIND!!! Fellas, I swear the best thing to do in the spring is eat at a street-side venue, get a drink and just enjoy the city in panoramic true HD [HOT DAMN!!]

It's that time to pack away all your sweaters and replace em with shorts, dresses, skirts, capris, halter tops, V-necks (which really should be renamed "v-chests" or "v-bellies" bc dem tings does cut RELLLLLL low my friend) and whatever accessories of nekkedness you put on to...."feel cooler." Don't get me started on what they wear to the clubs and bars. Coat check season is over!! Its like Christmas eve, watching your tree with NO wrapping paper on any of the gifts. We salute you! Peek-toe, open toe, sandals and for the life of me, I cant understand......BOOTS!? Isn't shorts and boots a blaring contradiction? Not talking FMB's but full blown Uggs, Ugg-like winter boots. I shrug and keep it moving. Some of my more dignified, primadonna friends will write women off for this. The nekked gallivanting has been temporarily delayed due to a spurt of cold weather. However, just as the warrior on the cusp of battle fills with anticipation, when it resumes, the nekkedness shall ensue with an even heightened vengeance.

So go on ladies. Do whatever you gotta do to "endure the heat." But seek guidance and wisdom of your trusted fashion council bc nekkedness is NOT always a good thing. Don't mess around and catch yourself on for the wrong reasons. I will get my popcorn and enjoy from the skybox (sunglasses are a wonderful thing). Behave gentlemen, its still not a license to misbehave.............but damnit I got a permit to watch.

This has been a moment of pure and unadulterated female adoration with The RrChitect :)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I HATE SIT-UPS! How Can I trim My belly? :(

DISCLAIMER FOR BELLY ENTHUSIASTS: The tummy is probably fitness' greatest quagmire. There is no magic dust to get rid of it. Interview 10 of your slimmest belly friends and outside of the anomalies who look naturally slim (with their clothes on, dont be fooled) they'll all probably tell you the same things. Everyone has some degree of tummiage, moreso as we get older, especially females as you naturally have higher bmi than men. I'm not denouncing the tummy so save the wtf-ery. The following is only for ppl who do not have a loving relationship with the tummy, have reached irreconcilable differences and would rather part ways.
Do you hate sit ups? I don't blame you. They are quite possibly the worse, least efficient exercise ever invented. I had a convo of late and realized, I HATE sit-ups (those who know me know that I hate the word "hate" so I use it sparingly). I'm not even a big fan of crunches. Whenever I confess this I get the obligatory, "oh shut up, you have abs and blah blah blah," hater chat. Which makes sense in the face of what appears to be a blaring contradiction. So here's the next question that almost always follows:


#1 You flatten your stomach in the KITCHEN, not the gym. Broken record, I know. I've managed to miraculously maintain a relatively slim waistline and core the last year despite not having a gym based on a few dietary disciplines I've developed over the years. This one is simply a reminder, for more details, re-visit:
Staying Motivated in the Gym..........Part 3

Staying Motivated in the Gym.......Part 2

Staying Motivated in the Gym....Part 1

#2 You don't need to build abs, you need to burn fat. I know some really muscular guys who have kegs for bellies (we call that the "prison build"). Thats bc they only focus on muscle development and don't compliment with fat burning. I hate traditional cardio, I prefer activities. I hate treadmills, I'd rather play basketball or run in the park, up a hill, mountain, etc. I hate stairmasters, I'd rather run up and down stairs with a pair of 10-20-40-50 lb dumbells, depending on how "Spartan" I'm feeling that particular day. Elypticals are the devil. Why use a stationary bike? Putting in all this effort and going nowhere.....literally, physically and metaphorically. Buy an actual bike.

#3 Break your routine. I know ppl who have been going to the gym for years and you'd never know outside of them constantly complaining and bragging about it. Why do you have a gym membership more than 6 months and see no noticeable progress? Easy, you're doing the same things over and over. Your body adapts and adjust to the only way to prevent it from plateauing is to keep fluctuating your routine. Retire all those machines I just mentioned. Learn the schedule and attend all the classes. Go swimming. Play racket ball, soccer (most physically demanding sport ever IMO). Don't like the gym, take some dance classes (dancing has always been my second favorite cardio of all time ::GIGGITY!::).

#4 Get/use a pull up bar. Ever wish there was a way to get the same effect of sit-ups and crunches without laying on the floor and hurting your back? Funny you should ask. MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE AND MOST EFFECTIVE CORE WORKOUT: Hanging leg raises. Personally, I like to hang from the bar as I do this, to strengthen my grip and upper body as well, but if you're not there yet, you can get a pair of pullup straps to hang from. Any sports store or online shop would have em. For starters, just try to pull your legs up to a "chair" position, then as you advance you can pull your knees to your chest and eventually do it straight legged. I can go on for another blog on this bicycles, oblique lifts, clock rotations, alternating legs, 90 degree extensions - get creative....but take it easy bc you will burn in ways you've never hurt before.

#5 Full body workouts. Staying away from machines adds a new dimension to your workout by working out your core as well as whatever muscle you're on.. Try this. Any exercise you do on a machine:
-figure a way to do it with free weights. Start off light. Balance and proper form are the most important aspects here.
-figure out a way to do it on one leg, then alternate to the other leg.
By doing this, you add two variables, your own body weight and gravity and by doing this, you work parts of your core you can't easily target with traditional floor exercises. My favorite workouts that also target your core: deadlifts, squats and vertical rows.

#6 Take a picture of the belly. Draw a face on it. Make it talk. Confront it. Name it. As long as you treat it like a pink elephant and mask it in peasant dresses and bionic structural hosiery, its going nowhere. And if you're fine with that, cool, this article is not for you. But if you have a bit of tummy you'd care to part with, the most important step is to confront it.

I have to get to work. I just acquired a new image of where I want to go with my core, so I have a bit of work ahead of me. If you can implement some self discipline, I just saved you hundreds of dollars in personal training and infomercial dvd packs.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

More BBM Woes

CAN'T make this up.

So the primary culprit who inspired me to write "PSA: DEATH TO BBM CHAIN MAIL!!!" sent me yet another bogus nonsensical message to which I replied "THATS IT!!!" and she laughed at me about it. Claiming I need to "relax and calm down." I I calmly and laxly deleted her from my bbm list.

We go back years. I still have her number email and other contacts........just not bbm. Upon realization, she txt's me to inform me that we're not friends anymore and I should delete her number and not talk to her ever again. I can't help laugh at all I keep reminding her that she needs to "relax, calm down." PERHAPS, I could be insensitive about this, but my mind can't wrap around the concept of this being serious. It's like I'm waiting for a "PSYCHE!," a "May fools," or something. Is it just me or does anyone get the feeling sometimes like Ashton Kutcher or some celeb is going to pop up any minute and point out the hidden camera?

I could understand if someone deleted my number, but this isn't the first bbm, facebook, msn or aim contact I deleted. Like I said before, some ppl are better for phone calls and txt msgs. I deleted several ppl bc I didn't like interacting with them on a certain platform but preferred others. Some ppl I just get a long better by phone and there are super close friends who probably never hear my voice (shout outs to bbm and unlimited txt plans). Is it really that serious? Will the phone call become the new snail mail?

Would you be pissed and write off a friendship if someone deleted you?