Thursday, January 28, 2010

Credit Cards are the DEVIL!!

Its been almost a year since I stopped using them and THANK GOD there's the Credit Card Bill of Rights going into place on February 22nd issuing some hard regulations on em.

Now what puzzled me for the last week was I kept missing calls from Capital One (yeah, I'm in blast mode). This was odd bc I'm current with that account, so why are they calling me 3 times a day. Curious enough, I picked up today. They wanted to inform me of a "little known" clause in the regulation act of 2/22 that credit cards would no longer be allowed to authorize payments over the limit. So out of the kindness of their hearts, they were going to allow me to WAVE that policy, for my best interest of course, and as a reward for my fiscal responsibility, they will offer me a discounted over the limit PENALTY of $29 instead of the current $39. Hah- Leh- Loo - Jaa!
Sidenote: I had to exercise olympic goal medal restraint on the phone. What she didn't know is that I've been praying for and following this act fanatically, so there is very little about the provisions that I'd consider "little known."
Background: I've had a capital one card for damn-nearly 5 yrs now with an introductory limit of $600. The limit on the card to date is currently $600. I've had 3 other cards with way higher limits than that, so needless to say I hardly use the card anymore. Matter of fact, the only times I used it last year was to transfer balances bc it has a lower apr than another card and these tieves swindled me and up'd the apr without notice on me. The only times I went over the limit was when I got hit with finance charges and penalties and whatever fees that pushed me over the limit (sometimes you just forget the deadlines damnit)....hmmmm.

So why are they calling me madly over some policy change? Easy, they want to keep the over the limit option so they can keep charging me over the limit and throwing charges on top of charges that I wouldn't be charged if they didn't charge me. If I don't make purchases over the limit and the only time I go over the limit is bc of their charges, what logical person would keep the over-the-limit policy?

No over-the-limit = no over-limit fees. 2+2 still ='s 4 in this universe homie!!

To humor myself I asked her to tell me how many purchases I actually made in the last year.....it took too long so I eventually told her none, and politely let her know how futile and obviously underhanded her attempts were.

NO THANKS!! I think this policy should have come years ago. Its criminal how much little loopholes credit cards have to hang you with. So if you guys get called on this seemingly good deal, Nancy Reagan them and just say no!

TIEVES!!

CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!!!!! ROTFLMBAO!!!! 2

As if CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!!!!! ROTFLMBAO!!!!!!!

wasn't funny enough.....it get's better...

So apparently, there's a version of it for men.........who havent figured out that we come with one built-in, standard equipped. Brings new meaning to the term "gay bar."

Then I saw this clip of it being mentioned on The View (seems more like a paid plug to me) are some women really and truly this naive?



Then, I showed it to a friend of mine (female of course) whose response was this:
"I saw that commercial on the Fit TV channel yesterday. I didn't think anything of it except that shaking that thing for 6 minutes a day is probably not gonna do any more for you than shaking a bottle of juice for 6 minutes a day...that you could save your money. A handjob hadn't crossed my mind until now. We should do a response video, if it has not already been done, demonstrating how if you gave a handjob for 6 minutes a day you could get the same results or better (improved relationship with your male spouse, etc)--and its free. :0)"
...Brilliant! Hadn't even considered that aspect. Forget counseling and therapy, forget all the reason why you can't and spend 6 minutes a day just selflessly pleasing your mate (men too) and see if that don't cure whatever relationship woes you may be experiencing. Aint nothing a little "dynamic inertia" won't cure.

I understand that men and women think on entirely different wavelengths so if any of you, like my friend, saw nothing wrong with this video, check out this version, translated in Mananese to better understand what goes through our head when we see and hear this (lets see if html wants to behave).

WARNING: Contents and dialogue are graphic and GIGGITY in nature. Viewers discretion is advised.

CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!!!!! ROTFLMBAO!!!!!!!

You know what.......why bother!? Things like this just Plaxico Jones' me sometimes. I can't compete. It doesn't pay trying to be creative anymore bc the ludicrosity of reality is 10 times funnier than any of us will ever be.


When my friend sent this to me, I figured it was a gag or a spoof....basically a joke. Come to find out, its and actual product with an actual website. I've said enough. See for yourself.

https://www.shakeweight.com/






html is being a biatch right now so if you cant see the video click here!

I'm still laughing!!

Favorite quotables
"designed specifically for women".....and gay men
"Based on a completely new workout technology called Dynamic Inertia, which ignites the muscles in your arm, shoulders, and chest so you feel them tightening and toning instantly" ..........sorry to bust your bubble, this is as old as time.

List of ppl who need to be thrown out in the street and shot:

  • The person who came up with this
  • That person's friend or significant other who said "hey thats a great idea! you should run with it"
  • The person who funded this
  • The engineer or designer who made the prototype
  • The ad agency that made the infomercial
  • The camera crew that made this video
  • Any network that aired it
  • Any retailer or trainer who carries this in stock
  • The developer who made this website
  • The woman who's been neglecting her man but decides to get one of these to get in shape.

I hate to be Mr. Obvious, but ladies, if this was the work out you've been looking for WHY DIDNT YOU ASK SOONER!! Here, I'll save you $19.99 plus shipping and handling right now! Find a man, any man (preferably one you like and have a repor with), show him this video, and ask him if he can help you get that same work out. Don't be alarmed if his eyes pop out of his head, just direct him to my blog and tell him to thank me. WARNING: Not all men are created equal so you may have to work out one arm at a time.

On second thought, maybe more women should get one of these to increase your upper body strength and endurance. Men dont natrually have more upper body strength and endurance, we've just had more practice.

Reasons why they invented camera phones: NOT THESE FOOLS AGAIN!!!

Cant make this stuff up. And no, the images are not photoshopped. Across the street from the glorious Kings Plaza Mall in Brooklyn, (Kings County, get it?)........................















For the full comprehensive list of ppl that should be thrown out into the street and shot, please reference: Reasons why I always have a camera...LMAO!!!!!!

........................OR, if you're feeling lazy, I can stop being lazy and just relist them, HYAH!


List of ppl who must be thrown out in the street and shot:
The person who came up with it.
Their buddy who said "that's a great idea!"
The person who decided to put it on a highway
The person who designed the ad
The person who agreed to pay for it
The person who decided to use the 'O'

List of ppl who should be slapped, but you can't REALLY blame them:
The people who printed the sign (I want to know how they kept a straight face or were they laughing all the way?)
The people who gave the permit for the sign

the people who mounted the sign




Wednesday, January 27, 2010

How Do you Deal with Death?

Since the crisis in Haiti hit us, my attitude changed up a bit. I never knew how Haitian I was until that next day.

FYI, for those of you who don't know, the main West Indian satellites in the US are, New York, Miami, Toronto [okay, North America] and followed by Washington DC, and Boston.........coincidentally all the cities that host carnivals. There are other cities we go to, but these are the best bet of getting as close to the culture in terms of ppl, family, food, music and nightlife. That being said, Flatbush Brooklyn is arguably the Haitian capital of the world. I'm convinced that there are more Haitians in Brooklyn than their are in Haiti. So living here all my life, Haitians have always been close, near and dear to me.

As if that wasn't sad enough, one good friend of mine lost family out there, another lost his mother out there, and one of my closest friends out here lost his mother to a battle with cancer. So needless to say, the priority list was re-directed the last few weeks. Were it not for M. Carter's bbm this morning: "Dude... you're slipping on the blog tip," which coincidentally popped up around the same time as my bloggiversary reminder, I probably wouldn't be writing now.
Sidenote: Nerd moment # 4,987....yes, I did make note of the date I started and set a reminder for myself to write about it. GNYAAAAAAGH!!!
I'm usually the last to try to give someone a speech after a loss, bc I've dealt with few close deaths to date. It's the sad, unfortunate, dreadful inevitability that we try to ignore, but is ultimately awaiting us all. Sooner or later, we die or lose someone close to us. Only 6 months ago, another friend lost his mother, hence why I was so ambivalent about Michael Jackson. He couldn't even stay in the wake.

How do you deal with or rather, cope with death?

Thank you Spartacus!!

It's no mystery that 300 is one of my favorite movies of all time, but someone finally thought so fit as to make it a television show. Sure, the story of Spartacus is as old as Charlton Heston and Estelle Getty combined, [one reason which I always questioned why in the Blue Cantrel the movie "Gladiator" ever won any awards and notariaty at tall but I guess that leaves hope for "AVATAR"] but lets be real. The only reason it's on tv is bc of "300."

Hell, most of the cinematography niches are straight out of the 300 playbook. I'm convinced each episode would be approx 20 minutes shorter were it not for all the slow-mo shots and the entire episode was run in real-time. I'll save more of my comparisons for after my post, "Why 300 is one of the Best Movies EVER!!"

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Happy Bloggiversary

3 years ago, January 26th 2007, I finally decided to stop sporadically spreading my cyber-thoughts and consolidate them into one place.

Coincidentally, that was another significant 3 year benchmark in my life. Interestingly enough, there a radical difference btwn where I was then and where I am now.

3 years ago, I psychologically traded in my physical journal for a virtual online journal.

3 years ago, I had plans.

3 years later, I'm nowhere near where I anticipated I'd be.

One of the few common denominators.... still, I smile. Still, I silly. Still, I LAAAA!!!

Is the difference that much?

Seismic.

How so?

That would be logged under TMIatry.

To celebrate, or rather reflect, I revisited my first blog which in hindsight explains quite a bit about how and why I write. I have an exponential amount of readers since then, many of which don't know me personally, so I encourage you all to do the same.

Fischer Price - My First Blog/Disclaimer

Unfortunately, I spent most of this day attempting to please everyone but myself, and had technical difficulties by the time I got around to typing. BAAAHHH!!!

Lets cruise. Let's vibe to the signature song of another....less noteworthy Raphael ;)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Nerd Moment #3,489

I just did this to have 12 posts by the 12th.......

TEE HEE!!

Mark McGwire comes clean............... .............NO S#!T SHERLOCK!!

...Yes S#!T WATSON!!
Sidnote: In another nerd moment, I almost hesitated to post a new blog bc I thought it was kinda cool that as of yesterday, I had 10 blogs in 2010...heehee!
According to ESPN via the MLB network, Mark McGwire finally admits to Bob Costas that he used steroid........



After all, the man did go from this............




















....to THIS....




















This dude is the poster boy from when baseball players went from looking like lean slender track stars to professional wrestling heavyweight contenders.
I dunno about you guys, but I was about as shocked as when Clay Aiken came out of the closet.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Racism in......THE WORLD

The other day I randomly went to a comedy show (something I can't recall ever doing) hanging out with Dr. Kay Hay, and a comedian kept talking about how racist this one Australian commercial was. Then before I could even get home to search for this video, out of sheer coincidence, one of my friends send this in one of our infinite email threads, simply asking "Is this racist?"



WARNING!!! DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS IN AN ACTUAL GROUP OF BLACK PPL. THE OUTCOME MAY BE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH. THE EVENTS OF THIS COMMERCIAL ARE FICTITIOUS, ACTUAL RESULTS MAY VARY.

...and then you know you can't just watch one video. "Related videos" are the devil!! This Korean commercial is even worse than the first one.....


Sidenote: I have one of a few circles of brilliantly intelligent, witty funny, positive males who have been running an email thread that's about 5 yrs old. We have some of the most amazing, vulgar, thought provoking, hilarious conversations ever...note to self. Clear inbox.

Sidernote: I hate the fact that when I go to .....video...posting...sites, its never an in and out operation. If it were a heist, I'd get caught. Soon as I go, first off they're recommending videos before I can even type. Then, there's "related videos..." plus my A.D.D. Next thing I know, I'm watching dance videos, booty shake clips, fitness videos, documentaries, news clips, videogame strategies, and somehow, every video online will eventually link you to conspiracy theories. 48 minutes dun gon on by and I haven't even looked at what I came to the site for...if I can even remember.
This is why I tell my friends and colleagues all the time you have to always be cognizant about the image you are emanating whenever you are out in public. ESPECIALLY if you are entrenched in environments that take you out of the element of your "comfort zone" and remind you what the term "minority" means.
Sidenote: And so we're clear, minority is a relative term, not isolating and specific race. Asians are a minority in this country.........but not at any engineering school in this country.
Sidenote: My friend Jose Nievez (my comedic partner in crime and co-star of our award winning show, "Eff you, Its funny to us" who I probably should invite to guestblog sometime) told me, in response to Racism in America/ Black Eye of the Tiger 2:

"Your blog pic looks like the back of Tiger Wood's photo, so does that make the person who took the picture racist?" What a dick.......eff yall, it was funny to me.
So simple question: Are these videos racist? Or am I over analyzing?......AGAIN?

LOST Prioritahs and Principalities.

I thought this was a rumor at first bc there were people theorizing that Obama planned his speech in December to deliberately trump "A Charlie Brown's Christmas," but verifying this was just sad.

"Obama Won't Bump Lost Premiere"

...President Barack Obama's State of the Union address will not bump Lost's final season premiere, White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said at a news briefing Friday.
"I don't foresee a scenario in which millions people who hope to finally get some conclusion with Lost are pre-empted by the president," Gibbs said, answering a question relayed by ABC Radio's Ann Compton. "You can quote a senior administration official."

SERIOUSLY GUY!??

Isn't this why we invented Tivo and DVR? Isn't this why you're popularity skyrocketted after purchasing said technology? Like yall don't spend extra time by your dvr/tivo friends? You waited a couple months, another day or week is really going to kill you? I already can see the campaign ads in 2012: "He postponed a Charlie Brown Christmas AND the final season premiere of LOST.....Obama.....bad for tv....bad for America."

We are really LOST as a ppl when we are more concerned with the outcome of fictional characters than we are with the outcome of our own reality.

011110 - My Nerd Moment...well at least one of em

Do something with today's date!!!!

Start a relationship.

Tell someone you love em.

If you're pregnant, force that lil _____ out today.

At the very least, create a document and save it with today's date, write out a check, hell, even do some boring adult stuff today.

Get a letter post dated.

Save today's paper.

Take a photo or video with the date stamp.

Why?? Bc today will numerically (I'm 99% positive of this) will be the only perfectly numerically symmetrical date of your entire life.

01 11 10 011_110 01/11/10


Of course, not geometrically speaking bc even folded vertically its not perfectly symmetrical...well perhaps if you use a san-serif font...........AAAHHH BOLLOCKS!! This looked so much cooler when I hand wrote it.

Save the date. I think I'm going to post date an empty envelope to myself......yeah right. Except for taxes, I don't do anything at the post office I can't do online. This is probably my suppressed inner packrat talking.

Or worse case scenario....post a blog =D

Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 4

Previously in My $0.02................... Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 1

Followed by................................Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 2

Then.........................
.........Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 3

Now........
I'm going to re-enact a few of the many traumatizing yet vital, character forming moments in my childhood:

Dramatic Dramatization 1
Me: (full of glee) MOM!! DAD!!! LOOK!!! I GOT A 95 ON MY TEST!!!

Parent A or B interchangeably: Where's the other 5 points??

Me: (absent of glee) [actually attempting to rack brain to answer pointless question]


Dramatic Dramatization 2

Me: (full of glee) MOM!! DAD!!! LOOK!!! I GOT A 98 ON MY TEST!!!

Parent A or B interchangeably: Where's the other 2 points??

Me: (absent of glee) [actually attempting to rack brain to answer pointless question]


Dramatic Dramatization 3

Me: (cautiously) MOM!! DAD!!! LOOK!!! I GOT A 99 ON MY TEST!!!

Parent A or B interchangeably: Where's the other point??

Me: (ambivalent....despite not learning that word for another 20 odd years) [walks away to play with toys or draw]
Sidenote: I actually did get A's and 100's from time to time. What's that you say? Ticker tape parade? Hang my test on the fridge? Not me. If I got a "good," "nice," "very well," keep it up," that was epic.
So my parents taught me inadvertently....in a low budget Pavlov fashion, two valuable lessons. First, how to deal with disappointment/rejection/defeat, and secondly slash most important of all, never settle for your current, average or bare minimum. Have you ever been at a point in your life where you want to fight a teacher for giving you an A- minus, but in the same week you get religious for the first time in your life and beg God, "if I can only just maybe get a 'D'"....... Am I the only one who's ever heard the phrase, "D is for D-ploma?" Got you in the teacher or professors office looking like the crackhead from "Menace to Society."

That's bc both mindsets are that of a winner: never settle and never give up. Granted, I may have cursed my parents under my breath many a time as a child and could possibly blame them for my "prodigal son" derailment years, but in my life (and I've been telling my students this for years) it doesn't matter what you do in that first 95% if you can't execute in that final 5%. And if you don't believe me, ask the '07-'08 New England Patriots.



So what is today's theory on why kids are so DUMB today?

Theory #4: Winners are Losers and Losers are Winners

I was shocked to learn recently about a soccer game... and then I found out other sports do this too......... they gave out trophies...................... TO THE LOSING TEAM!!! Are you kidding me? What happened to trash talking and rubbing in the losers face? I cringe to think where I would be today, how un-creative and lame my life would be had it not been for fierce and vicious name calling as a child. What incentive is there to win now? To keep on playing in the last 2 minutes when you're down one score?

It's not just sports. Some schools have a passing mark of 50 or 55! And the saddest thing is, college aptitude exams have a FAAAAAAAAAAAR higher passing bar. It's like we're setting our children up for failure. I recall the passing mark being 65 when I was a wee lil lass. And even that is quite horrible, in hindsight. That means my generation was subconsciously programmed that 65% of our possible output was/is acceptable.

Students would do so much better if school work was more life-applicable. Teach children percentages in kindergarten. Ask a student if they'd be ok, with 65% of their allowance? If you were on a plane and the pilot announced that they landed safely 50-65% of the time, you'd either jump out the plane yourself or have a heart attack.

And how excited would you be if there was a doctor on board....... who saved 65% of his patience?

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

CAN SOMEONE "KANYE" ME!!?

In a quick glance, I walked by a TV that was showing some awards show tonight. Taylor Swift apparently won the Teen Choice Award for best female artist of the year, beating out the Britneys, Gaga's, and Beyonces and whoever else is hot these days.

I didn't listen in, but I surely hope she thanked Kanye in her acceptance speach. I'll be the first to admit I (along with millions of others) had no idea, who in the Blue Cantrell, Taylor Swift was before the MTV awards show. I knew that song and video (I can't lie, that note writing business in the window was hella cute) but if you asked me the name I'd draw a blank. Then one day I see "some chick" winning an award, I turn my head for two seconds, when I look back, Kanye in on stage holding the mic...and the rest is history.

Reminds me of a story I heard (paraphrased bc I can't find it):
A little mouse used to stray too far from home too often. His mother warned him not to do that in the cold. One cold winter night, he wanders off too far and it begins to snow. He rushes back but along the way freezes from the cold. As he lay there frozen stiff, a horse walks over. Surprisingly the horse' hoofs miss the mouse completely, but then the horse stops and proceeds to shit on the mouse. At the brink of freezing to death and just being shat on by a horse, life could not possibly look worse. BUT, as fowl smelling as it was, the horse droppings were very hot. In fact, it was warm enough to thaw out the mouse and get him moving and in no time he was able to move and make his way home.
Moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy ;)

Accepting Change and Polarity

According to German philosopher Schopenhauer, all change, truths or any thing introduced as new, systemically goes through three stages:
First - Mocked and ridiculed
Second - Violently opposed
Third - Accepted as self evident and truth
That being said, I get a lot of positive feedback from my blogs, and for that we thank you. Subscribe, comment and follow along (and yes, I refer to myself in plural from time to time). HOWEVER, I do on occasion get mocked and ridiculed AND violently opposed. I welcome this, but please, leave the comments here on the blog site. Don't txt me, email or im me these things. So it was no surprise that I received a good amount of violent opposition to my "Why You're Still Single - Ladies I" post, despite my well intentioned "PROLIGUE."

As a writer, creative thinker, its is inevitable to reach some controversy or opposition from your words. Hell, with all the slack shit I been writing, I wonder what took so long. I been calling todays kids "dumb" more than a drunk Bill Cosby, talked about lazy moms and sniping babies!!

One thing I learned years ago was to suspend disbelief when looking at the views of others or simply, not to look at them. I'll never forget my first week at college, a dear friend Ayda Girma asked my opinion on her artwork. Unconfident in my ability to critique, I told her I was an architect and she said, "Who cares. Everyone's opinions are valuable. Even if its a bum on the street, at least listen first........then you can decide, okay you're a bum and I don't agree." Recently, my pal Al advised me that if I look at MSNBC, you have to look at FOX NEWS as well, bc the two are so polarized in viewpoints that it is impossible to find middle ground on either platform. No one is going to be convinced or swayed to the other side by a broadcast of Rush Limbaugh or a Michael Moore film. You either go in with the mindset you have or not at all bc you oppose them. They cater to like minded viewpoints....hence, both are entertaining nonethelessm, but how does that foster growth or change? Its about balance. Thats probably why ppl get so bottlenecked bc you keep getting the same advice from the same sources, the same news and info from the same sources and wonder why nothing changes and certain things never work out.

I simply started this series bc I, personally, am sick of all the man bashing, "no good men left," statistical, boarderline castrating propaganda that we're spoon fed all the time. If there was a spectrum, if there was some sense of self responsibility or variety in the arguments, I'd be fine. The "Why You're Still Single" series will eventually continue, but to be honest, A.D.D. is kicking ass, so I just need to get a few things off my mind before I get back into that. The news has just been oh so FASCINATING of late =)
It's amazing where ppl's hot buttons are.

Obama covering all ends

"Tucson transgender woman now serving Obama administration"

According to the Boston Herald, Obama has just appointed the first openly transgender woman to federal government. This week Amanda Simpson began serving as a senior technical advisor to the Department of Commerce.

I think the most fascinating part of this story is a quote that said "It shows that this president is serious about hiring an administration that looks like this country." The other fascinating part for me was that I never knew there was a National Center for Transgender Equality. Despite the gay roommates, classmates, co-workers and dating a girl who lived on Greenwich Street for a year, my ignorance to the gay community is still vast and wide.

I tell you one thing, this man is covering his bases for 2012 hotdamnit! He already made a huge impact amongst women and Latinos with Judge Sonia Sotomayor, who's most controversial attribute was the enunciation of her last name. At this rate, this Obama dude will lock down most of the majority vote by the end of this year. He's shown he has resolve on war, the economy is a constant focus, and he's keeping to his withdrawal and healthcare campaign commitments.... best he can....despite that evil party in the house that wont support him.........................THE DEMOCRATS!!!

Yeah I said it!!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Racism in America/ Black Eye of the Tiger 2

Sidenote: Ok, some may call it lazy that I'm doubling a sequel, but if the two weren't intertwined, I wouldn't exactly have much to talk about right now would I?
Previously on "My $0.02"................
Black Eye of the Tiger

and

Racism in America

Now....... as I stated before
"The American media loves nothing more than bringing down a prominent black person from glory........YEAH I SAID IT!!"
Extreme? I've been told......and then I saw this:
Where does one start? With the fact that it was done before the incident or that it was done without Tiger's participation?
Now it's possible that going to architecture school within an art school has made me a little over analytical about graphic imagery. I might read too much into a bare-chested photo of a person (forget race, the image of a bare cheste black man has no historic context of barbarism) who is almost always portrayed in a polo shirt if not some other professional/casual attire. I might be o.d.'ing when I say the cold color scheme of the backdrop and blue filters combined with the metallic free-weights are reminiscent of an inmate in a prison yard. I may be a little over the top to imply that the otherwise contradictory scully hat (scully = knit hat, ppl in different regions call it different things) which otherwise makes no sense, is the crowning cherry on the top to create the hoodlum, thug, criminal, bandit, villain persona. Heavens no! No way that could possibly be intentional. I work out all the time...well... used to....
(notice it's been a while since a "Staying Motivated in Gym" installment but that's another conversation) and I have shoulder length hair, so I can imagine how cold the head of a clean shave athlete must get while working out.....in the same climate that prompts one to take off their shirt....... which in itself is not at all symbolic of stripping anyone of anything...other than clothes........especially in the context of his current affairs. That's too far fetched.

And I'm absolutely confident that such an accredited publication mogul like "Vanity Fair" would be so versed in the power of still images that if any of these absurd insinusations were ever possible, it would have come up at least once before it made cover or even made it to print. It's not like EVERYTHING isn't scrutinized, analyzed and discussed down to the composition, colors, position and size or type of fonts. There's no way any publication would be either so oblivious or aware of this and still okay the article. Cus we all know how bad contraversy is for magazine sales. Who would want that?

I'm not trying to say anything, I'm just saying. Observations, is all. Oh! This will DEFINITELY be continued....
This brain fart has been brought to you by the letter "T," the color Orange, The New York Public Library, sarcasm, AND VIEWERS LIKE YOU!!!!
EPILOGUE....or perhaps, rather prologue-ey, after-the-fact but actually written long before-type-thingy....

Why does this all feel like deja vu? Bc I had this same debate almost two years ago when Vogue had "Lebron Kong" on the cover. I was told then that I was too over the top so I wanted to share with you all a post I wrote at the time in my discussion group "Vital Issues 'n' Stuff with Charles" (apparently forgetting I actually had a blog at the time)
.
You wroteon March 27, 2008 at 3:09pm
I think its utter naivety to say that Vogue did not put any thought into this obvious racial slap or was oblivious to any racial connotation. Before I even read this post the the first thing i saw in a half second glance is King Kong.
Example: Lebron signature (or at least one of em) is the white head band. Where is it? What are the colors of the Cavs uniform? Red, White or Navy blue. Why is he dressed in all black. I could sit hear all day and tear this image apart.

Vogue was either conscious of the racial image they were depicting and knew they could veil it in the age old guise of "oh you're just reading into it...people are too sensitive about race" or they realized the racial association that was perceived and either didn't care, or counted on it to spike sales. If you really, truly believe a magazine that is the bible of fashion and image was not cognoscente of this, I have a bridge for sale that you should take a look at.
Despite my love of sesquipedalian salads and semiotic symphonies, one thing we've heard a trillion gazillion times, when word fail, a picture says a thousand words.....


UPDATE: OF COUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSE!!!! NO WONDER!! ITS THE SAME PHOTOGRAPHER ANNIE LEIBOWITZ!!!!!!

Racism in America

I love how ppl like to act like America is a perfect Utopia. Don't get it twisted, clearly I'm not hopping the fences or riding rubber tubes begging to get a visa to Cuba, Haiti, Uzbekistan, or Mexico. Hands down, America is the best place on earth to live. Now that I got my "Patriot Act" safety net out of the way....... I am however, capable of self-reflection and criticality.
Sidenote: No offense to Cubans, Haitians, Uzbekistanians and Mehicans. Even though some of my best friends are Haitians, I kinda don't want to say it bc everyone says that when accused of being racist.
But I digress.... racism, in case you haven't noticed, is everywhere around us. I once met a man who said he preferred things 30 yrs ago than today. Reason being, you knew who the racists were, where they were, and where they stood. In the corporate day and age, in this polite/sarcastic/politically correct society, the racists are everywhere. Even in your work group, in your class, signing your paycheck, taking a paycheck from you or serving your food.

HARK!!! Fear no more racists worldwide!! With the annonymity of the internet, it's 1812 all over again. From the safety of your keyboard, you can be a mousepad mobster, desktop discriminate and laptop lynch to your racist little heart's content. Am I being paranoid? Negative? Don't believe me? Here are a few rugs to look under.

Comment box
Granted, ppl will post whatever they want online, but I'm not talking about content. Spend some time reading the actual viewer/user commentary. I remember when certain stories broke, be it Imus, Obama, Tiger Woods, you should see the Jim Crow type comments that followed below the videos, blogs and news articles.

Online Gaming
I just got into online gaming this last year where I play against strangers all over the world (probably why I fell off of blogging for a second shhhhhhhhhh). My favorite thing is cooperative online gaming, where me and a couple friends (actual or just online buddies) team up and play against teams, clans or random clusters of players online. But understand something, that opens you up to the whole world. From Denmark, to Seoul, to Burned Scrotum New Mexico, anywhere the Internet is, racism is. I've been called "you fat American" from Europeans [even though I'd like to think of myself as the antithesis of fat, note that there was no way they can actually see me], I've been cursed out in French and had no idea what was being said [but if you have enough Haitian friends you have a rudimentary understanding of French] and any racial comment you can think of. I've even had several ppl try to convince me that I wasn't black bc apparently I "don't talk black." NOTE: I'm substituting "black" for what was actually said.

I learned a deeper new-age racism that I didn't know previously existed. Apparently these are the worse things online to be. The Classics:
N-word. That one never gets old
Gay. Sexuality need not even apply
Mexicans. Biggots cant stand our neighbors to the south.

Sad as it was, this was old ignorance to me. "Dirty, stinking, this and that," yeah, I'm used to that. The one that really threw me off guard was "Jew." That's an insult now??! I'll never forget the first time I heard ppl being called "a Jew" or " thats so Jewish" in negative contexts!!! It took me a second to realize what they were talking about.

I ignore these ppl and resist engagement whenever confronted. If a black person fights and argues EVERY time you're called something unpleasant or racially insulted, you'll be too exhausted from fighting to do anything else. You got to save that ass-whooping card for an emergency last resort occasion. Simply mute the person, ignore, leave the room, kick the person from the room or file a complaint/report (which most platforms allow you to do). That's for the novice... for the advanced witty individuals, there are a number of less than honorable, but evilly satisfying combatants that you can pool together to ruin their day. Nothing extinguishes ignorance like intelligence. My pal Al is one of the best at it....I just wish he'd stop asking me for chicken over call lines. And devil's advocate: That's a major reason why I don't tolerate certain language from my own ppl. If hearing other ppl use these term derogatorily offends, bothers or moves you in the slightest bit, perhaps you need to re-examine the use of your own vernacular.

Anecdotal denouement: A man once told his son, "Everyone has two wolves inside of them. One represents evil, hate, ignorance, violence and all negativity. The other represents just, morality, kindness, good will, honesty, truth and positivity. These two are at constant battle for control of you and one will ultimately kill the other." Scared by the story, the boy asked his father, "Which one will win?"

His father simply responded: "The one you feed the most."

Monday, January 4, 2010

Resolute over Resolutions

Happy New Year everyone!! For some reason, everyone feels like they have an automatic reset button and this is going to be the year for you. It's that time when you can get crackhead deals on gym memberships and a couple extra free weeks for weightwatchers. A personal trainers Christmas.

According to many of the personal trainers I know, January 21st is statistically the date when most, if not all new years resolutions are broken, forgotten or abandoned. Personally, I think unless you're running a company, or talking finance, new years resolutions are a crock, probably conjured up by some huge corporation to feed off of consumer greed and gullibility...like most holidays....like valentines day.
Sidenote: If anyone does not know by now that Valentines day was invented by Halmark and Hershey to boost sales during the great depression, then you just need to look that up on your own time. Yeah St. Valentines and blah blah blah, but last I checked, Jesus, didn't paint eggs at the last supper and the Easter bunny was not a disciple either.
Point of clarification: I am probably the biggest fan of goal setting and self improvement you can find, HOWEVER new years resolutions annoy me. I think setting a goal to improve yourself, primarily...rather, solely because.........[sidenote: I don't think I've spelled out "because" in AGES!!] its a new year is a piss poor reason. You're fine with your weight and eating hog-fried-hog on December 31 and suddenly at 12am you need to stop? When I used to do sports clubs [sidenote to self, write about why I hate sports clubs], there was a waiting line for the bench or any machine in the start of January. Come February, you could shoot an RPG from one end clear to the next, right through the treadmills and wouldn't hit a soul.

I love definitions. My favorite for "resolution" is "a resolve of determination." Why not commit yourself to year long, life long "resolve of determination?" If you need a solution to something, odds are you had the issues before December. Here's my recommended resolution, if you absolutely MUST make one: become resolute on personal development and self improvement 24/7-365. I understand the need to reflect at the beginning and end of the year but become more self critical and identify areas of improvement as they arrive. You can stomp out a brush fire when it starts much easier than when it becomes a forest fire.