Racism in America

I love how ppl like to act like America is a perfect Utopia. Don't get it twisted, clearly I'm not hopping the fences or riding rubber tubes begging to get a visa to Cuba, Haiti, Uzbekistan, or Mexico. Hands down, America is the best place on earth to live. Now that I got my "Patriot Act" safety net out of the way....... I am however, capable of self-reflection and criticality.

Sidenote: No offense to Cubans, Haitians, Uzbekistanians and Mehicans. Even though some of my best friends are Haitians, I kinda don't want to say it bc everyone says that when accused of being racist.

But I digress.... racism, in case you haven't noticed, is everywhere around us. I once met a man who said he preferred things 30 yrs ago than today. Reason being, you knew who the racists were, where they were, and where they stood. In the corporate day and age, in this polite/sarcastic/politically correct society, the racists are everywhere. Even in your work group, in your class, signing your paycheck, taking a paycheck from you or serving your food.

HARK!!! Fear no more racists worldwide!! With the annonymity of the internet, it's 1812 all over again. From the safety of your keyboard, you can be a mousepad mobster, desktop discriminate and laptop lynch to your racist little heart's content. Am I being paranoid? Negative? Don't believe me? Here are a few rugs to look under.

Comment box
Granted, ppl will post whatever they want online, but I'm not talking about content. Spend some time reading the actual viewer/user commentary. I remember when certain stories broke, be it Imus, Obama, Tiger Woods, you should see the Jim Crow type comments that followed below the videos, blogs and news articles.

Online Gaming
I just got into online gaming this last year where I play against strangers all over the world (probably why I fell off of blogging for a second shhhhhhhhhh). My favorite thing is cooperative online gaming, where me and a couple friends (actual or just online buddies) team up and play against teams, clans or random clusters of players online. But understand something, that opens you up to the whole world. From Denmark, to Seoul, to Burned Scrotum New Mexico, anywhere the Internet is, racism is. I've been called "you fat American" from Europeans [even though I'd like to think of myself as the antithesis of fat, note that there was no way they can actually see me], I've been cursed out in French and had no idea what was being said [but if you have enough Haitian friends you have a rudimentary understanding of French] and any racial comment you can think of. I've even had several ppl try to convince me that I wasn't black bc apparently I "don't talk black." NOTE: I'm substituting "black" for what was actually said.

I learned a deeper new-age racism that I didn't know previously existed. Apparently these are the worse things online to be. The Classics:
N-word. That one never gets old
Gay. Sexuality need not even apply
Mexicans. Biggots cant stand our neighbors to the south.

Sad as it was, this was old ignorance to me. "Dirty, stinking, this and that," yeah, I'm used to that. The one that really threw me off guard was "Jew." That's an insult now??! I'll never forget the first time I heard ppl being called "a Jew" or " thats so Jewish" in negative contexts!!! It took me a second to realize what they were talking about.

I ignore these ppl and resist engagement whenever confronted. If a black person fights and argues EVERY time you're called something unpleasant or racially insulted, you'll be too exhausted from fighting to do anything else. You got to save that ass-whooping card for an emergency last resort occasion. Simply mute the person, ignore, leave the room, kick the person from the room or file a complaint/report (which most platforms allow you to do). That's for the novice... for the advanced witty individuals, there are a number of less than honorable, but evilly satisfying combatants that you can pool together to ruin their day. Nothing extinguishes ignorance like intelligence. My pal Al is one of the best at it....I just wish he'd stop asking me for chicken over call lines. And devil's advocate: That's a major reason why I don't tolerate certain language from my own ppl. If hearing other ppl use these term derogatorily offends, bothers or moves you in the slightest bit, perhaps you need to re-examine the use of your own vernacular.

Anecdotal denouement: A man once told his son, "Everyone has two wolves inside of them. One represents evil, hate, ignorance, violence and all negativity. The other represents just, morality, kindness, good will, honesty, truth and positivity. These two are at constant battle for control of you and one will ultimately kill the other." Scared by the story, the boy asked his father, "Which one will win?"

His father simply responded: "The one you feed the most."

Resolute over Resolutions

Happy New Year everyone!! For some reason, everyone feels like they have an automatic reset button and this is going to be the year for you. It's that time when you can get crackhead deals on gym memberships and a couple extra free weeks for weightwatchers. A personal trainers Christmas.

According to many of the personal trainers I know, January 21st is statistically the date when most, if not all new years resolutions are broken, forgotten or abandoned. Personally, I think unless you're running a company, or talking finance, new years resolutions are a crock, probably conjured up by some huge corporation to feed off of consumer greed and gullibility...like most holidays....like valentines day.

Sidenote: If anyone does not know by now that Valentines day was invented by Halmark and Hershey to boost sales during the great depression, then you just need to look that up on your own time. Yeah St. Valentines and blah blah blah, but last I checked, Jesus, didn't paint eggs at the last supper and the Easter bunny was not a disciple either.

Point of clarification: I am probably the biggest fan of goal setting and self improvement you can find, HOWEVER new years resolutions annoy me. I think setting a goal to improve yourself, primarily...rather, solely because.........[sidenote: I don't think I've spelled out "because" in AGES!!] its a new year is a piss poor reason. You're fine with your weight and eating hog-fried-hog on December 31 and suddenly at 12am you need to stop? When I used to do sports clubs [sidenote to self, write about why I hate sports clubs], there was a waiting line for the bench or any machine in the start of January. Come February, you could shoot an RPG from one end clear to the next, right through the treadmills and wouldn't hit a soul.

I love definitions. My favorite for "resolution" is "a resolve of determination." Why not commit yourself to year long, life long "resolve of determination?" If you need a solution to something, odds are you had the issues before December. Here's my recommended resolution, if you absolutely MUST make one: become resolute on personal development and self improvement 24/7-365. I understand the need to reflect at the beginning and end of the year but become more self critical and identify areas of improvement as they arrive. You can stomp out a brush fire when it starts much easier than when it becomes a forest fire.

Why You're Still Single - Ladies I

PROLIGUE <----(Please read before continuing)
1 - Choice.
As "the Architect" from the Matrix movies (no relation, I actually am an architect and RRC are my actual initials.........wow the assonance on that one..say that sentence outloud) appropriately stated: "the problem is choice." Many women have a harem of men at their will and bend, but CHOOSE not to embrace any of them. Partially bc of the other person (many specific reasons we will eventually get to), but also bc they aren't ready for the slow down and obligations that come with a relationship. Don't believe the hype, women have commitment issues too especially a busy woman with a lot going on in her life. It's a huge change to suddenly be accountable to and considerate of another person and lets be honest, women have issues with that just as men do. The reason I needed to start here was to make sure that we're clear, when we're crying and complaining, that many ppl are here, primarily by choice.

14 – You bottlenecked yourself by statistics.

If we haven't heard it eleventy-seventy times. What are the most common ones?

-Black women outnumber black men 12-1

-50% of marriages end in divorce

-The number of black women unmarried over 30 is double that of white women

But there are a few significant "soundbytes" that narrow the playing field that I'd like to touch on:

"% of men without a High School/ College diploma." I can understand why, but lets play devil's advocate here: Are you a university? Does this mean that there is no hope for redemption because I dropped out of high school or had responsibilities and financially couldn't go to college? Why are we wasting our time talking about careers and college!!? If we start going to middle and high schools right now and tell them no one will wanna date, marry or have sex with you without your diploma, we would have 90-99% graduation rates. I'll get started on the proposal. Shoot, Chris Rock dropped out of high school, imagine if his wife had that attitude about his millionare ass?

"% of men who have been incarcerated." DA: If you're job is an equal opportunity employer, why aren't you? Similar point, does that discqualify any one whose been encarcerated? There are ppl who change not to mention that many ppl are in prison or jail for non-violent offenses or have no prior criminal history. Martha Stewart and Michael Vick have jail records.

"% of men who are gay." Well there are gay women as well, so rest assure, the competition is thinning out too. Speaking of competition, there are factors that limit the types of women men look for also, so you don't neccessarily have to worry about the other 11 females. Just focus on the one.

"% of single men who already have children." DA: As with everything else, you're eliminating a lot of high quality potential before you've even gotten into physical or personality attributes. The older, you get, the more prevalent this becomes so at some point you have to decide are you going to let a good man go bc he has a child? Hopefully not too late, which spring boards to our last point of the day:

18 – Tunnel Vision: You woke up too late

There's a chapter in the book "He's just not into you" titled "Don't waste the pretty" and unfortunately I think many misinterpretted that and inadvertedly, wasted the pretty. Everyone has their "list" of things they are looking for in a mate. The main reason why you find attractive single people is because of their standards. There are the four leaf clover who are so pretty and humble but no one approaches them, but thats not the normative scenario. Now nothing is wrong with standards, but as you get older, you start to realize that a lot of your standards are superficial. Especially the specific ones. "He has to be 6'-4" and above....Are you a ride? What sport do you coach or do you anticipate storing things in high cubbards? Not only are your pre-requisites limiting, you've now illiminated more than half of your acceptable pool. My lil sis used to specify 6"-4"+ with slim athletic build, until one day I challenged her to keep a log of how many of those she actually saw per day for a week. But when you had "the pretty" on your side, your body was where some of you are trying to get back to now, you had the discretionary power to pick and choose as you saw fit. So you dated a little here, dismissed a little here, yada yada yada... Maybe it wasn't preference, but you told yourself you had to focus on your school/career/life and wrote someone off (that you could have made time for if you decided to) before they even had a chance.

Here's something to ponder when you're alone asking yourself "why?" Whether it was height, education, income, hair, complexion, whatever, how many wonderful men slipped right through your reach bc you didn't know how to spot them out?

A good man is like a stealth bomber. The irony of the stealth bomber is that it's the farthest thing from discrete. It's a loud, huge, BLACK aircraft...very discrete in the day time. However, most radar systems are completely blind to it. If you were in a tower, and used your eyes, you'd spot it a mile away, but alas, you were looking into the lens of the wrong device. Great, now you've been tactically nuked. NICE!!!

To be continued....

Why You're Still Single - Ladies: PROLOGUE

Yes, that was meant to be posed as a statement not a question. Answers aren't regularly followed by special punctuation.

Rest assure, the men's version is underway. However, it is an infinitely shorter list and number two, I don't hear men complaining all the time about not being able to find a good woman like its some impossible, insurmountable Juggernaut. I been typing this on my phone for weeks now and so far it works out to a 3 page document, single spaced, 11pt fonts........and I'm a ways from completion. I'm up to 17 reasons so far, but I'll space them out three at a time for now and see how that goes. I'm saving what I think to be the number one reason for last.

KEY POINT!!!!
This is a menu, and while it may not ALL be applicable to you, I'm just laying out the catalog of the most probable possibilities. We have a wide audience and the first step to combatting a problem is identifying the root cause, the "WHY," so let's try to identify which one is yours, embrace, accept and OWN it, and hopefully it will help you move towards a solutions.

This list stems from years of females complaining about this issue. I have a lot of very attractive, very accomplished, very educated female friends who currently, if not always, are single.

Sidenote: I'm sure someone is thinking the "no-shit-Sherlock" question of the day: "why don't you date them?" Well the "yes-shit-Watson" answers will be disclosed over the course of this series.

Ironically (or maybe its coincidentally) I also have a lot of single successful, accomplished, educated, (and dare I say) attractive, black male friends. So I know first hand that this myth about "there are no good black men" is nonsense and anyone who still proports it should be slapped with a pair of leather gloves.

The catalyst to me prematurely expediting this list was a recent article I read. Personally, I hate complaints (just as much as I hate the word hate, but clearly more). I take that back, whining and complaining. I get complaining with a cause and a focus and a fix-it attitude. I've always been more solution oriented than problem oriented. We all have problems, on varying scales, but if you're complaining to no avail, with no strategy, no course of action or concern for solution, either let us help you, do something about your problem or shut the eff up!! I wont even reference the article bc its the same allegorical excuses and justifications we always hear. Which was number 14 on the list but a good enough segue to get started, so lets jump right in.

PSA: Dudes! Stop hollering!!!

[From the Blackberry Chronicles]

I used to call this "pouncing" back in the day.

pounce

1  /paʊns/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [pouns]bv verb, pounced, pounc⋅ing,noun

–verb (used without object)

1.	to swoop down suddenly and grasp, as a bird does in seizing its prey.

2.	to spring, dash, or come suddenly: Unexpectedly she pounced on the right answer.

–verb (used with object)

3.	to seize (prey) suddenly: The bird quickly pounced its prey.

The rarity of this method actually working is slim and requires a number of factors to be in alignment for it to work:

• Timing
• Mood
• Mutual attraction
• Execution
• Wording
• Tone and pitch

(must all be flawless. I mean Shakespearean flawless.)

On a train the other night, some guy came into the car and tried to "holler" at some young lady sitting across from me. I was shocked bc its been a minute since I've seen this. I didn't think this platypus of a practice still existed. Needless to say his approach in the previous criteria was mediocre at best. He didn't even take a seat next to her so she could hear him. I could have used some nachos or popcorn.

Fellas! You're doing a real danger to the herd if you persist. Reason being, if a man sees the woman of his dreams, and he happens to be her prince charming, she won't even give him the time of day bc 27 Souljah Boys already approached her incorrectly.

I can sympathize fellas. I've seen a few females that made me want to walk across the train car or pull over and throw on the hazards when I'm driving. But I don't. I just observe and keep it moving. First two reasons, I have a "never walk back" and "5 foot radius" policy. Also, I always remember this experience:
I once noticed an attractive female on the train who happened to get off on the same stop as me. Not only did we take the same bus, we got off at the same stop. We even walked 2 blocks in the same direction. Was this fate? Why didn't I say anything? Bc for that short commute I got a glimpse of what her world was like. I didn't count, but she EASILY got hit on 20+ times in just that 2 block walk.

It's not all hopeless young men. I actually had a hall of fame pounce that led to one of my greatest relationship for a good 2 yrs, but the conditions I laid out earlier was textbook. Bottom line/ best advice on "the pounce," a quote from Jay-Z sums it up best:

"If you draw, better be picaso, you know the best/
Cus if this is not so, ha, God bless."

Sidenote: Sad news ladies. Men will never stop especially the crude, disrespectful calls. Why? Good question lil Jenny. I'm glad you asked.

Sidest Note: I was tempted to write a comprehensive "How to" on pouncing, the correct way. Still on the fence about that......

Why men cat call and will never stop.

[From The Blackberry Chronicles]

Ladies: Its not news that men are notorious for cat-calling, doing and saying anything that comes to mind in an ill-witted attempt to get your attention. I've heard directly and second hand some of the most disrespectful mumbo jumbo spewed at women [the crown goes to overzealous, ambitious teenage boy shouting at random women across the street who walk by, "YO MAH!!!? WANNA FUCK!?" CAN'T make that up guys.]

So the question of paramount interest is simply, "why?" Why do men continue to do this?

No extensive, investigation, research or analysis necessary here. I won't even make this blog that long. I'm about to break it down into three uber simple words which irrelevant of its inexorable truth, some of you will adamantly deny and oppose:

.............because it works!

That's it. That was the reason right there in case anyone missed it or was waiting for something epic. Because it works. If it didn't work, men wouldn't do it. Did I say it works on everyone? Extra "Hell" plus some "nah" but I have seen women drawn in by some of the most backwards disrespectful calls ever. It truly is a fascinating sight when you've had one of these internal dialogues: "There's no way in hell she's going to respond to... OMG she's walking over. She's going to slap him for sure. There's no way any....OMG, is she giving him her number???"

To truly understand this point one must become versed in the Law of Averages, which states (succinctly) if you do something often enough you will develop a margin of success to failure. Aka ratio. Common example, batting average.

Men are hunters by nature and hunters understand this concept very well even if they never heard it packaged as such. If a cheetah can run down 50 buffalo, knowing he may get trampled, he's bound to catch at least one. Do all 50 ever get away? More often than you think. But by maintaining persistence and faith in the law of averages, whether 1 in 50 or 1 in 100 or 1 in 200, at the end of the day 1 is still 1 and that's all the predator cares about. Poor batting average? Perhaps, but according to who? No hall of famer has ever batted over a .3. That means in baseball, if you succeed only 3 out of 10 time, your a multi-millionaire hall of famer.

I don't give two flying soda pop bottles whether its right or wrong, it makes sense. As long as it still works from time to time, there's nothing us good guys can do to help on our end. Sorry, hate to put the onus on you but we tried. The only other option would be for women to stop being appealing or looking nice and I'm sure thats a loss for both sides. What yall need to do is form a "Million Women March"- international convention and decide as a ppl that women globally will never respond again to catcalls. Cus you know what they say about that one bad apple?


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