Tuesday, December 22, 2009

PSA: Dudes! Stop hollering!!!

[From the Blackberry Chronicles]

I used to call this "pouncing" back in the day.


1[pouns]bv verb, pounced, pounc⋅ing,noun
–verb (used without object)
1. to swoop down suddenly and grasp, as a bird does in seizing its prey.
2. to spring, dash, or come suddenly: Unexpectedly she pounced on the right answer.
–verb (used with object)
3. to seize (prey) suddenly: The bird quickly pounced its prey.
The rarity of this method actually working is slim and requires a number of factors to be in alignment for it to work:
  • Timing
  • Mood
  • Mutual attraction
  • Execution
  • Wording
  • Tone and pitch

(must all be flawless. I mean Shakespearean flawless.)

On a train the other night, some guy came into the car and tried to "holler" at some young lady sitting across from me. I was shocked bc its been a minute since I've seen this. I didn't think this platypus of a practice still existed. Needless to say his approach in the previous criteria was mediocre at best. He didn't even take a seat next to her so she could hear him. I could have used some nachos or popcorn.

Fellas! You're doing a real danger to the herd if you persist. Reason being, if a man sees the woman of his dreams, and he happens to be her prince charming, she won't even give him the time of day bc 27 Souljah Boys already approached her incorrectly.

I can sympathize fellas. I've seen a few females that made me want to walk across the train car or pull over and throw on the hazards when I'm driving. But I don't. I just observe and keep it moving. First two reasons, I have a "never walk back" and "5 foot radius" policy. Also, I always remember this experience:
I once noticed an attractive female on the train who happened to get off on the same stop as me. Not only did we take the same bus, we got off at the same stop. We even walked 2 blocks in the same direction. Was this fate? Why didn't I say anything? Bc for that short commute I got a glimpse of what her world was like. I didn't count, but she EASILY got hit on 20+ times in just that 2 block walk.

It's not all hopeless young men. I actually had a hall of fame pounce that led to one of my greatest relationship for a good 2 yrs, but the conditions I laid out earlier was textbook. Bottom line/ best advice on "the pounce," a quote from Jay-Z sums it up best:
"If you draw, better be picaso, you know the best/
Cus if this is not so, ha, God bless."
Sidenote: Sad news ladies. Men will never stop especially the crude, disrespectful calls. Why? Good question lil Jenny. I'm glad you asked.

Sidest Note: I was tempted to write a comprehensive "How to" on pouncing, the correct way. Still on the fence about that......

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