PSA: Ladies!! If you want to dance alone.........stop going to parties full of ppl....who want to dance!!

This is a phenomena that has plagued men for an age and puzzled me for just as long. Fellas, we've all been to a bar, lounge, house party, or club and experienced this at some point in our lives (unless social interaction, partying and dancing just isn't your thing...seriously, not being sarcastic....a lot of my friends and one of my brother are not party dancing ppl):

Eager and overzealous guy # 246: Hey young lady, would you like to dance?
Unenthused female at party #73: [forced smile] umm..no thank you, I'm just dancing with my friends.

I've always wondered this question........If you don't want to dance with anyone........why did you choose to come to an uber crowded establishment..........where music is playing...and ppl are going to be there dancing....and you know guys are going to want to dance with you....and dress like a cross between a lead video girl and the lead sex symbol in a James Bond film..............IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DANCE WITH ANYONE!!!!!????

This comes to mind bc I went to two events in one evening, one with a female friend home for spring break, then I got a txt from some friends who happen to be in the same area who invited me somewhere. At the latter venue, which was a post office in comparison to the first one, I was on the dance floor and did the old fashion "hey can I dance with you gesture" and a lady stopped dead in her tracks and started talking to me asking me questions "That's ok, I don't feel like dancing. hi, how are you, what is your name," clearly in a sarcastic demeaning tone. I just walked away.

Sidenote: I'm just asking for a dance, it's not that deep. If you look out your window, past the trees and way over the telephone lines, higher than the tallest building outside, you will see the flying fat baby's ASS that I give about your name and who you are? Had I wanted to know who you are, I would have asked.

Sidernote: In contrast, I actually have a number of good friends who I actually met during situation at parties, however it was always something memorable that happened, that sparked a dialog and a moment of bonding. This chick was clearly being a dick, and don't challenge me at that bc I'm quite seasoned at it.

Point of clarification: "Post office" is a term from a song by Soca artist, Bunjii Garlin and Reggae Icon Beenieman, called "Plenty Gyal." Some of you will get it on the way home or tomorrow during lunch...."post office.....mail.....sounds like male....oooooooooh!!!" Other more common terms, sausage fest, sardine can, sword fight, mailbox etc, feel free to add.

Now I'm sure ladies can come up with a trillion justifications for her reaction and I can too, but that's irrelevant in first person perception, now isn't it? The reason why I see this as imbecilic is in reference to such stark contrast to the first venue. I had to take a phone call at the first spot, so I had to leave my friend alone in a lounge (with the "vultures" hovering waiting for me to step aside from her) and and she didn't want to talk to anyone, dance or be bothered....so you wanna hear the crazy thing she did??? She sat down....in a corner....FAAAAAR AWAY FROM THE DANCE FLOOR WHERE EVERYONE ELSE WAS DANCING!! What a complex, alien concept!! NONONONOONO!!! I have a better idea. When the hot tracks come on, I'm going to dance not near, IN the middle of the dance floor, by myself, surrounded by men....bc that's the surefire way to avoid hassle and dance by myself.

Granted we all know that some guys are a little bit more "ambitious" than others, so here are some helpful ways to avoid being hassled if you don't want to be bothered

• My personal favorite....I have a great place where you can listen to the best music, dance all by yourself for as long as you like, and not be bothered at all all day long.............its called MY HOME!!
• Learn from my educated friend. Find a corner, nook or seated area that is not as easy to get to. Standing behind chairs, stools, or tables can serve as barriers or vulture retardants.
  
• Simply don't go to parties. I know many females who don't "club" for this specific reason.
• Don't be cheap. Money and peace of mind are interchangeable. I know a lot of women, who for this reason, will shell out the extra money to get in the VIP section, which usually has tables, seats and not as much hassle. You get your own section, you can go in general admission and escape to your sactuary at any time, still enjoying the atmosphere and tunes with everyone else. If you go in general admission, ESPECIALLY IF YOU GOT IN FOR FREE, you get what you pay for...fend for yourself.
  
• Utilize "the impenetrable buddy circle fortress." You know what I'm talking about. That circle of 3-7 girls just dancing and enjoying life. This deters most guys who already can anticipate "oh, I'm just dancing with my girls" a block away.

Sidenote, there are cracks, leaks and points of vulnerability in this fortress so ladies be ware........but I'll be betraying my gender were I to reveal said tactics B-)

Sidernote: If you got in for free, quit crying. Too damn spoiled!!

• This one is kind of evil, but I've admitted that I'm evil time and time again. If you don't want to be bothered, always roll with a "body guard" or "Cave Troll."
  

Sidenote:The "Cave Troll" is the.......to avoid offending any potential cave troll or cave troll enthusiasts, let's just say....that.....very....masculine-esque not so attractive friend. If we measured on a scale, and attractive was in.....Seattle......the cave troll would land somewhere around.....say, Morocco. Yall can call me evil all ya want, I just invented the terminology, not the concept. If ya wan see real evil, I can give you the names to a handful of women who actually do this and think like that......and those of you reading who know you do it are prolly laughing you're tail off.

Here's something to consider next time you cry and complain, "Oh woe is me!! Everyone wants to dance with me or talk to me!! I'm soooo pretty/hot/attractive and SUCH a good dancer!! Why am I so cursed!!? Oh pray for me!! There are some females who go out all the time WHO NEVER GET HIT ON or so much of a "HI, can we dance." I see it all the time, and I know some like this. Imagine how sad and heart breaking it is to see your friend who has her pic of the litter, turns down guys you would dream to get, get hit on left and right, approached all the time and complain about it while no one ever wants to talk to you. I consider that "a good problem to have." So if you don't like the attention, make yourself less attractive, or consider some of the humorous tactics to combat this grave burden you are cursed to carry.