Tuesday, December 8, 2009

WHY 2009 made me a kid again....[oops]

So I started this topic and amidst my multitasking, re-prioritizing and self-diagnosed A.D.D., I never got around to finishing the point. However, I learned something: in my nievity, I thought that when you click "save now," it saves as a draft. Little did I know that closing the window commences the saving AND publishing process.

Background: At one point in my life there were 5 things that were more important to my childhood and personality than life itself:

G.I. Joe
Street Fighter
Comic Books

So allow me to elaborate on WHY 2009 made me a kid again.

Street Fighter 4
Street Fighter videogames were perhaps the greatest stress relief I have known my entire life. There are few ailments in this world that cannot be solved or alleviated by "forward, down, down-forward + Punch." <span class=lolcats funny cat pictures" border="0"> Ppl have asked me for a few yrs now "why don't you get a second generation system?" And my answer has always been....."they didn't have any SF games." Every system I ever had, some incarnation of SF was always my first game. After a billion variations of sf2, sf2 turbo, sf2 hyper, super, alpha, alpha 2, alpha 3, alpha just because, virtual, zulu, beta, lalala, and FINALLY part 3 five years ago, '09 marked the 20th anniversary of the original game, which revolutionized fight games, and probably one of the most imitated games of all times. One of the best games I've ever played in my life. Its been years since I shared a roof with my brother (who I probably had AS many real life fights with bc of the game) but now with these online networks who needs a roommate, brother or arcade. I can go online and play against live players around the world any time of the day.

G.I. Joe - The Rise of Cobra [SPOILER ALERT]
If you don't know how much I heart G.I. Joe...........
So this was a movie long overdue, but well worth it. First off, after the first X-Men movie, The first Hulk, Daredevil, and the first 4 batman movies, I lost faith in Hollywood's ability to maintain creative integrity in any storyline re-adaptation. Lord of the Rings and 300 are probably the best fiction story to movie adaptations I've ever seen. They always have to change something, remove something, create something new and ruin something.

Saying this to say, I'm not surprised anymore when they stray from the original storyline. G.I. Joe was an easy sell for me. Guns, CHECK. Explosions, Check. Cobra trying to destroy some stuff, CHECK. Cool military weapons and vehicles, CHECK. Snake eyes doing cool ninja stuff.....CHECK!!! They even threw in Storm Shadow too. As an added bonus they actually did a good job of explaining Cobra Commanders lisp and why Destro has a metal face, yet can move his eyes and lips.

Sidenote: Why did Snake Eyes have a nose and lips??? Who ever seen a ninja mask with nose and lips??!!! How could you ruin the simplest part of the movie?

Sidernote: Peter Jackson may probably not possibly iono maybe a racist, but you got to question his choices of films. King Kong and Lord of the Rings have some of the most racists undertones in all of fiction, but that's another conversation.

X-Men Origins - Wolverine

There is no man alive that did not want to be Wolverine at some point in his life or at least have his powers and retractable claws. Let's disregard that fact that Hugh Jackman is about 1 foot taller than Wolverine actually is, I was actually quite surprised. I must say, the prospect of a PG-13 for a film about one of the bloodiest comics of all time was an immediate turn off, but it ended up to be quite a gully, enjoyable Wolverine flick....which basically all three X-Men movies were.
Sidestnote: NOTES TO SELF
Write a blog on why Peter Jackson is a racist
Write a blog on all X-Men movies suck
Write a blog on "why 300 is the best movie ever!"

For example: Hands down the most anti-climactic, worsest, WACKEST finisher punchline in the history of cinema.................

.......Clearly these writers have never seen an Arnold Schwartzenegger movie....Ironically, Ray Pack who plays Toad, got the roll of Snakes Eyes in the GI Joe movie. He's much better when he has to shut the heck up.
Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen [SIGH!!!]
I would say spoiler alert, but the whole movie was spoiled, far as I'm concerned.
This movie was so bad it made me un-like and HATE the first Transformers movie. Throw everything I said about understanding out the window. I thought "Revenge of the Fallen" meant just that. Who knew they had to change the whole storyline and create a character named "FALLEN!!" And how did they manage to ruin Devastator, a giant mega robot composed of 7 construction vehicles merged (the original Voltron of the Transformer universe) into one of the coolest robots ever conceived. He was an evil Voltron on steroids. To help understand my frustration, this is the image of Devastator we've all had for 25 years.............

But noooooooooooooooo!!!! Kiss-me-ass Micheal Bay and the new folks at hasbro had this Ro-beast in mind............

WHY is he a dog, sucking up sand?!
Sidenote: Should have known not to trust Micheal Bay. After all, this is the man who made Pearl Harbor!! SIDEnote to self: Write about "Why Pearl Harbor is the Worse Movie EVER!!"
Terminator - Salvation [Spoiler Alert]
Terminator is one of the all time greatest sci-fi and action movies ever (albeit stolen from a storyline written by a woman who inspired both the Terminator and Matrix series). I loved this movie. After the third movie and recent beach pictures, they finally decided to have the governator sit this one out. Proved impossible to make a Terminator movie without Arnold but I was surprised.

Star Trek
Never really was a Star Trek fan, but loved this movie.

One of the best sci-fi sitcoms of all time was remade this year. Haven't been keeping up with this series. But who could forget the lizard faced aliens who ate live, whole mice and gerbils? Good thing they remade it, bc after recently watching the original....we were in desperate need of a special fx upgrade.

Maxwell, Genuine, Joe, we already talked about, but at the final stretch Boyz 2 Men AND R. Kelly drop albums???? What a 90's flashback!!?

Twas fun to reflect, and open a portal into my year to share with you all. Although I may appear a flagrant offender of TMIatry, I'm very calculated about what I choose to share and not share. Alas, this was..................IS a joyous year.

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