Monday, November 17, 2008

The Two Great Fucks of a lifetime

I had brainfart #211 (aka too hunnid eleven) just now (actually yesterday but I typed this in word, got distracted and forgot to post it). A friend of mine has a really devoted gf. She’ll do anything for him, get anything for him and is always there for him. And he told me a number of times that the reason he’s with her, is bc he can trust her…………….but he cheats on her…………..A LOT!
This puts me in a bind bc I personally don’t believe in cheating and on the flipside, I don’t condone advise or telling ppl what they should or shouldn’t do.
Pitfalls of advice:
In my experience friends are the death of all relationships.
It’s annoying when someone asks for advice, doesn’t take it and continue to spiral downwards.
It’s equally annoying when someone takes your advice, messes up their lives and blames you
But I digress…..
So basically I see ppl like this as little babies playing with metal forks (red flag already waving) on the floor near an electrical outlet (now red lights are flashing) and crawling towards said outlet (alarms are blazing at this point). And I thought to myself “why would some people do this?” My conclusion is they have not yet experience both of “The great fucks of a lifetime.”
First great fuck: You get fucked over.
This is usually the most common and unfortunately for some, this is tends to happen far too often? Didn’t the wise G.W. once mess up the age ol quote and in doing so made the fisher price version of the quote that I actually prefer:
“Fool me once….shame on you…....YA FOOL ME, CAN’T GET FOOLED AGAIN!!”
I can speculate all day long, but I’m sure that there are a plethora of reasons why this happens, some of which I never even considered. Example: I once heard if you keep doing the same thing, anticipate the same results. We tend to preoccupy ourselves with such gridlocked “preferences” that they become “prejudices.” And can blind us from clear and obvious pitfalls (see my previous note titled “NEXT”). Some, however, learn from these experiences and either A: become better or B: become bitter………….far too often we see ppl choose the latter.
Second Great fuck: You fuck someone over.
This one is actually harder to register bc I honestly believe that MOST ppl are rudimental good at heart. Very few ppl wake up in the morning thinking “hmmmm, who can I fuck over today.” So typically when you f’s someone over, it’s not intentional. You most likely were looking out for your own best interest…as perverted as they may be. Ere go, when we act out of ignorance, oblivion or just selfishness, we may have a tendency to inadvertently hurt someone else. Most times, it doesn’t bother us bc we’re in our selfish zone. However, when it REALLY fucks with you is when you F over someone that A: you really REALLY care about and or B: you hurt someone who really didn’t deserve it. And when you care about someone, you feel it and it eats you up inside….especially if you so go far as make the other person cry. This causes a kind of pain and haunting, but in some rare cases, a much needed self evaluation and healing process. Some of us must go through this in order to become better ppl and be more selfless and considerate ppl.
These are two excruciating heartaches that I feel are necessary to become better people. I always wonder if and when ppl do cheat, have they experienced not one or the other, but both?

1 comment:

*nycyahdie* said...

I post I can so relate to eh!!! I've fallen victim to first great fuck...not once...but twice! Yes, I've been fucked over! I've been abused, cheated on,lied more!
You are so right.I got caught up in the vicious cycle and tried to stay in the same situation hoping and praying that things would change. Surprise...surprise...things didn't change...they only got worse!!!I can't really explain why I stayed so long. After awhile you just get comfortable and complacent.You fear that if you leave the present situation that nothing better will come along. I feared being alone.
However, in the end I was left feeling bitter, hurt and heartbroken. I'm no longer bitter (though I often have homicidal thoughts about my exes lol), but wiser. Though I must confess I'm quite jaded. If I never fall in love again...I'll be glad :-)