Signs That the Sky is Falling #2

Previously on "My $0.02"..................Signs that the sky is falling #1

Okay. Much like egg n cheese and Vanilla Ice, "I'm on a roll!!"

SIGN THAT THE SKY IS FALLING # 2
H & R BLOCK IS LAYING PEOPLE OFF DURING TAX SEASON!!!!!

.............. I don't think I really have to dig TOOOOO deep into that one. There is something so rudimentally sad about that, that a comedic parody can not harness. A friend of mine was telling me that she and 200 other ppl got laid off recently. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the season when you need MORE tax people? WOW!!!

Sidenote: Real Time with Bill Maher is one of the funniest shows on TV and I'm glad its back. He talked about something similar when he made light of that fact that a bar in Boston laid off a bartender from the classic "CHEERS" (yes the one from the tv show) the weekend BEFORE ST. PATRICKS DAY!!!.............can't make this stuff up ppl.

At times like this, I often ask myself.........."what would Tupac say?....".... Beautiful Video!!!

Sidenote: I don't reallly go about quoting the word of Tupac. It just happened to be a relevant song to the topic..... I think he's a bit overrated....okay more like highly overrated.

The UBER-est Nerdy-esque thing ever!!!

OMG!! I read this on someone's status and I had to look this up to confirm it. Today is actually "Pi" day....did ya know that?? I mean 3.1459xyzlmnopdpg's ova on da wesSIIIIIIIIIDE!!!!

........OOOOOOOOH I get it!!!..heh...heh..because it's March 14th today..heh.....and March is the "3rd" month of the year...thats right....ha...so numerically that would be 3-14!....haha......how cleverrrrrrrrrrr?!!!??? I wonder who's the pocket protector that came up this poppycock? Seriously! How many times must your milk money be stolen at lunch and your homework copied for you to say "when I grow up I'm going to make a day dedicated to the honor and glory of Pi!!!?" How many times have you had a family, school, job or medical crissis.................that was solved by the numeric medicinal prowess of PI!!!!??? I will investigate the significance of this cult-like phenomena with the number and report on my findings on a latter day.

And apparently this is the 21st year it's been celebrated too. I don't know what's more fascinating. The fact that someone came up with this holiday, the fact that there's and organization and website with shops and ideas to celebrate dedicated to it, there are hords of ppl who celebrate.....or that fact that I've never heard of this before. Hilarious!!

Sidenote/Disclaimer: We at The Rrchitect would like to apologize to all Pi and Pi day fanatics and enthusiasts who may have been offended by the comments in this expressed written brain fart. In the event of such said offense, we highly encourage that you engage in the following activities: either grow a pair, hold it the eff down or laugh it off as humorous.....which is the sole intent of the jest.

Sidernote:.....Yeah, so that was not so much of an apology. It's My $0.02 damnit! I find it funny. Laugh with me :)

ADDENDA!!!!
SOMEONE SENT ME A FRICKEN PI DAY SUPER POKE!!! LMAO!!!!!!

Signs that the sky is falling #1

If we haven't heard it enough, the economy has gone to shyte. China is talking about (emergency sidenote: why the hell did spell check want me to spell "about" with 2 t's?? "Shyte, I understand, but "aboutt?" Am I Canadian?!........no offense to my Canadians and Canadian enthusiasts) pulling its money out of the US (funny how we're a stock and China has over a trillion liquid invested in us) bc they are uncertain of the certainty of their investment..........(that don't sound too right). But I'm no financial analyst, I'm a Joe Scmoe. There are more alarming signs that our economy is down the tubes, as far as I am concerned.

Sidenote: As big a story as that may sound, I actually had to google it to get articles bc funny enough it was not on the homepage on CNN.com and when I tried looking it up in their search engine, they looked at me like they never heard of the place China. Ostrich technique is what I call it.

Sign That the Sky is Falling #1: Grocery bags now cost money!!!!!
Now this is where the alarms blare, panick is spread, evacuation announcements are made on the PA and the Godzilla theme song plays as Japanese ppl run, arms flailing, pointing and screamimg "GODZILAAAAA!!!" .......Aaaaaah, Gojira. My favorite man in a rubber n foam suit....Seriously, I digress...

Remember the days when you had a choice, "paper or plastic" and you didn't have to ask them to double your bags on the more heavy items? There was always that pleasant immigrant who couldn't work anywhere legally or that little local neighborhood kid who wasn't old enough to work anywhere else...........Dont act like I'm effed up! You go to Associates, Keyfood, Pathmark or Mets around the way and act like thats not what you see? Ah the Bag boy or Bag Lady (shout outs to Eryka Badu). THESE SUNZABISCUITS CHARGE YOU FOR THE FRICKEN GROCERY BAGS NOW!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!

Sidenote: Eryka Badu is a blasted genius. I been reminiscing on how "Mamma's Gun" is one of my favorite albums of all time. I remember that she dropped a single/video for "Bag Lady" that was soooo comercial and un-Badu, AND on the album she said "get that comercial shet outta here" and she dropped the most Badu-esque version of "Bag Lady" possible!!

Sidernote: By comercial version, I mean the old "hey lets used a well known song from a well known producer so it strikes a cord in ppl's memory and its an isntant hit even before you listen to the words...." Shout out to Dre on the "Xxplosive" beat. WARNING!!! its spelled "XXplosive" for a reason!!

I firmly believe that in the heart of every tragedy is a great opportunity and new market, so before I even began to bitch n whine about it, I notice in catologs that theres a whole new market of "Grocery Bags," some of which are thermally insulated to keep your stuff cool. I remember hearing my folks try to justify buying this like they absolutely NEEDED it, so I had to remind em they collectively have lived over a century without em. The raw fish and icecream will survive the 3 block walk home. I'm sure. Paper and plastic will do just fine.

Sidenote: I absolutely loath Whole Paycheck.....uh I mean, Wholefood Warehouse or whatever the heck that starbuck grocery store is named. Perhaps thats where ppl got the idea of buying reusable bags. I want my infinite supply of plastic bags that I use as garbage bags, laundry, travel bags for shoes and a billion other around the house uses. I bet you guys who been throwing away your bags so wrecklessly will think twice and woe the days you did such careless practices!!

In the words of the ever wise, immortal Al Bundy, "slowly but surely, our freedoms are being taken away from us," as he recanted about simpler times when you can park on the street for free while he was complaining about parking meters. This is so true. Why are we so docile and supersizely, ez-passly passive?? If this happened in France, they'd storm the capital and streets and demand change. Don't be surprised when they start putting meters on our homes and start charging for air.

Sidenote: I won't even bother supplying a link. If you don't know who Al Bundy is, well you need to. Congrats! You've waisted half your life away.

Sidernote: Actually looking back at it, the Bag Lady video was quite clever. The song is great, I just love the album version so much better. If you've seen her perform live you'll understand.....and if you can count how many times you've seen her perform, then you havent seen her enough.

Point of clarification: I was MADLY in love with Badu.....we were engaged in my imagination.....until I found out that her golden locks that fell down to her calve was a wig..... I always wondered when she revealed that she was bald, did all the women who she inspired to go natural, cut perms, and lose jobs and relationships over their locks cut them off too?

TOS: Facebook owns you. Get over it. Here's how.

Recent uproar has soared through the news, Internet and all other forms of media about a recent change in Facebooks Terms of Service agreement. For those of you who don't like to be bogged down with esoteric terms and legal jargon mumbo jumbo, its that loooooooooong notice that comes up before you sign up for an online service or install software, which you are supposed to read but instead, scroll to the bottom,click "yes".....and in doing so, legally state that you actually did read it.

Useful Reading:
Uproar about FB's TOS "Facebook's terms of service (TOS) used to say that when you closed an account on their network, any rights they claimed to the original content you uploaded would expire. Not anymore."

"What does arbitration mean?"

Mark Zuckerberg's response

Now there are a number of reasons why I am not concerned, but to mention a few:

By definition, an agreement is a decision made in concert btwn 2 or more parties on a series of terms...........ok so maybe that's just my definition but I typed this on my blackberry one night btwn rem cycles when I couldnt sleep. LEMMELONE!! Facebook and sites like it are mutually beneficial. A virtual database to serve as an addressbook for every possible social network you've ever been a part of with 1 click access to 1000's of ppl?? How much would it cost you to build and maintain a website that does half of what it does? I hope Algorhythm or any other experts can chime in here. And how many different sites would you need? Example. A friend of mine writes and draws a comic strip called "Justus" . And by me promoting his facebook group, in the last few months he's gained about 400+ new subscribers who recieve his updates/subscription to new comics.

Well since we're screwed, here's how you COULD HAVE saved your privacy and moving fwd.....I say could have bc you most likely have done most if not all of the following already:

sidenote: I absolutely refused to sign up for twitter and lattitude as soon as I heard about them.

-The cliche mantra, as old as time, "READ THE FINE PRINT." I hope you finally learned this. In the information age, we are long pass the era of "ignorance is bliss"....its actually quite lethal. You can plead a lot of things in court but ignorance is not one of em.
-Learn the meaning of the term "ARBITRATION." Too much to get into on that topic but I gave you a fine article on arbitration you should read....and more importantly understand.
-If you don't want anyone to know, don't post it!!!! The people who actually need to worry about this bc they're doing the shit the govt wants to track are smart enough not to have fb accounts. You think al queda or the mob operate on fb? Don't nobody in NSA, TSA, ATF, CIA, FBI, NORAT, LMNOP or da WEST SIIIIIIIIIIIDE give a fuck about who tagged you in their spring break southbeach album.

Sidenote: I figured out years ago the only way to keep a secret....IS NOT TO TELL ANYONE! For the hard hearing, that was "ANYONE." Everyone has at least 1-5 people they can trust to tell things and won't repeat it......except to THEIR 1-5 people they can trust to tell things and won't repeat it and they may have a totally different wheel of morality and ethics than you two do, but we digress.

-Please don't link accounts. "Hey use this finder thingy to find your friends in your email address book who's on fb!" "Link it to your im or email account". Okay! GREAT IDEA.......... Let's completely forget that fb is still a complete stranger who you just willingly gave away YOUR FRICKEN EMAIL SCREENNAME AND PASSWORDS TO!??? You think they deleted it???

Sidenote: the amount of ppl who use the exact same screen name for multiple accounts, including bank and credit info is scary....exact same password, even scarier.

Sidernote: Apparently Karen Phillips likes the new format of the "sidenotes"..........but wont leave a fricken comment IN the blog

Side side sidenote: Screw spell check!! I will stand my ground and spell "sidenote" as one word. I lost respect for this bastard language after 2005 when "bootylicious" got inducted into the dictionary.

-Don't install mobile aps. Hmmmm let's think. A website that tracks data and stats and imma install its software on my mobile phone device thingy? I don't see the point, you can go on fb from your smart phones web browser anyway. Why do I need an application? Which leads to my next point.....
-Stop adding applications. Aps were cool the first few times enticingly luring me in with things I like but the agreement just kept raising my eyebrow. Your basically given additional third parties (that is a company outside of facebook) the rights to use all your fb info. This is why I don't get the outcry, this has been right in our face all this time. Read bitches!!! READ!!!

sidenote: I considered hyperlinking the "read a book" video however, although I agree with its satirical message, I do not in no way shape or form condone the use of the "n" word whatsoever.......but so far Boondocks gets my only "pass" card.

-CC INFO?? I hope to God that you did not put in your credit card info into fb so you can buy stupid "gifts" or pay for "premium" superpokes ::shakes head::
-Don't get specific. Why are you posting your physical address to a virtual?
-Leave the important stuff vague. Basically the stuff that you can't find on any public record. For example, look at my "info," always was and will be
Employer: "one of those firms"
Political position "lesser of two evils"
Religion: "trust in God, but lock your car door"
Relationship status....NOT POSTED and will never be posted ever again (talk about unneccesary drama in the ex-files)

sidenote: what the EFF is "complicated" other than a conversation starter and a reason for ppl to bother and ask "what's so complicated?" REALLY!?

sidernote: My ex-coworker Tiffany (God bless her, I heart her so) could not understand why I had all my co-workers on limited profile....

There are ppl who've know about this for years. A friend of mine Nazinimod, poet/designer, told me years ago that he won't post pics of his clothing line on myspace bc their TOS basically said the same thing that you forfeit or rather consent some ownership of anything you post to myspace. Hence why I post my blogsite LINK in my status and not the actual blog through rss feeds so it appears as notes. Blogs are copyright protected to SOME extent but posting it through the fb application absolves, basically null, void and yields that to guess who? Besides, all the comments go on fb, not here :(

sidenote: Thank you all for your continued patronage, praise and compliments but is there some technical difficulties as to why the frick you don't leave your comments HERE and not on fb, gchat, aim or txt msgs?? I'm such a comment whore (hangs head low)

In conclusion, to all you ppl who say my blogs are too long, think about how much software you've installed and downloaded that had a TOS that you just scrolled to the bottom and clicked "agree" and didn't read bc they were "too longl?" I've been installing computer software for years and all TOS say the same give or take a few articles, clauses and esoteric rhetoric. Specifically (paraphrasing):

"...you also agree that we have and or can exercise the expressed written right and or privilege to can and or will change this TOS at any given point and or time in juncture with and or without notification......and or."

I'm no lawyer, but basically that sounds like your telling me to agree to an agreement and or contract that you can change whenever and or however you feel and I have no power to fight? AND OR?? Oh yeah, I'm really going to put the coordinates to my secret volcano lair on this web site MUAH HA HA HA HA!!!!

Relax, even if there really is this big brother element that you're so deathly afraid of knowing all about you, chances are they prolly already do :)

ADDENDA!!!!

Another eyebrow raiser. FAMILY APPLICATIONS???? Why the hell are you calling out, listing and identifying all your family members on fb? We called that tattling or snitching. Don't wrap me up in third parties bc you're push button crazy!

ITS CAAAAAAAAARNIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!!!

TRINIDAD!!!
DA DA!!
TRINIDAD!!!
DA DA!!
TRINIDAD!!!
DA DA!!
TRINIDAD!!!
DA DA!!
WEEEEEEEEH MY PEOPLE!!

p.s.............I hope I find her

<----------------------------


ITS CARNIVAAAAL!!!!

See you guys in a week!!!!

Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 2

The second installment in our investigatory series dedicated to solving the quagmire [GIGGIDY!!] of our time.

Previously in My $0.02................... Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 1

Now...............

Sidenote: You know your a dweeb when something happens and your first thought is "I can't wait to get on my pc and write a blog about this....". And your an uber dweeb if you type it up in the memo application on your bb or phone, email it, proof in on your pc an post when you get home or to a computer

Another sidenote: how the hell do you start a conversation with a sidenote?

Shout out to Karen Phillips for mentioning about this one. You accelerated it on my list, however, the bus ride I got off of made me think of it too. There were 3 "youts" on a bus (boy-approx 15-17, girl-approx 11-13, boy-approx 8-10) all talking about who fights more and comparing who's knuckles were more bruised n darkened.

Sidenote: I wanted interject and correct the eldest young man on his form. You should never land a punch with last two knuckles of your fist (as they are merely attached by cartilage) but instead you must aim to connect with your first two, pointer and middle fingers (since these are actually securely anchored into your forearm) to inflict maximum damage and minimize risk of self injury........ Then I caught myself and agreed that that would be more so fueling the flames of ignorance than imparting knowledge so I decided to hold my tongue and let it be.

another side note: this is my new format for "sidenotes". I figured typographically it works. What do you think?

Granted every generation has its knuckle heads, numbskull's, and plain addle brained idiots, but why are these kids not home at 9pm (granted this was on Presidents day but still)? Which leads me to theory # 2

Theory 2: No quality after school programs.

When I was young, you couldn't PAY me to hang out after school. Matter of fact, I didn't even realize ppl actually did that until about 6th or 7th grade. I had no time to get into trouble, I had to race home to catch my cartoons, NO QUESTION! My roster varied from years to years. Examples:

3pm - G.I. Joe (if you wanna know how much I heart that show check this out).
3:30pm - Transformers. Extra-terrestrial bi-pedal cybernetic organisms, or rather autonomous robots (Auto+bots) that transformed into vehicles, cities and any other inanimate object in order to disguise and blend into our environment - GREATEST FRICKEN CARTOON CONCEPT....EVER!!! Worthy of its own blog...hmmm......

Sidenote: Watch any old Transformer or G.I. Joe episode now as an adult and you'll see why my generation and I always had a monster vocabulary.

But I digress......

4:00pm Video Music Box - another staple in NYC growing-up-ness. For those of us who didn't have cable and waaaaaaay before run dmc, waaaay before "Yo MTV Raps", The Source and eons before the God-awful atrocious atrocity we know as BET, VMB held us down. VJ Ralph McDaniels kept us up to date with the latest rap videos, dances, politics and fashion trends.

Then there were other generations. Not quite the golden era, but you have to give props to Disney afternoon for holding a strong arm on after school action (Darkwing Duck, Gargoyles, Rescue Rangers, Ducktales, Gizmo Duck, Gummy Bears etc), the WB era of Tiny Toons and Animaniacs (another contender for my favorite all timer), Toonami and too many others to name.

And let's not forget the many valuable after school specials specifically designed to teach yo kids while you make your way home, prepare dinner and do all your parenting duties. Lessons like:

• "You see little Timmy, there are good touches, and then there are bad touches..."
• "Jus bc all your friends are smoking glass pipes doesn't mean you should too..."
• "......and that's what to do if your teacher touches you little Jane..."
• "Now that we've learned our lesson, what are we gunna do next time we find a gun in mommy and daddy's room?"
• "Unless they're a doctor, you should not let anyone stick you with needles..."

[PAUSE]

Every single child program was designed to deliver a key valuable life lesson. You'd swear a panel of psychiatrists were on the team of writers. I believe Ren n Stimpy was the beginning of the end (coincidentally around the time I stopped going home for cartoons, started hanging out and got caught up in various nefarious urban stereotypical activities before turning my life around), inspiring an armada of badly drawn, poorly animated thick outlined cartoons with pointless plots and stupid brain cell killing characters. American animation went from being nominated for an Oscar for best film (Beauty n the Beast) to Beavis and Butthead and we've been spiraling downhill ever since. I don't care how tough you are, every human being I've ever met cried or at least teared a little when they first saw Lion King (however in a bit of irony, I laughed during a similar scene in Bambi) and if you didn't, then....then....your just evil! And a meanie! And you should die...okay too much. A meteoric fall of elephantine proportions.

What ever happened to the "Moral of the Story??" What do our kids learn from Pokemon and Yugi-Oh (promiscuity?...."gotta catchem all?".....no?...no good?.....too much?)? And for the life of me, why the EFF is Power Rangers still on the air?!! What's the incentive to even go home after school now? Where's the all-star line that has kids running home after school or has network television fallen prey to the avalanche of Judge "So n So," Judge Pookie and Judge Ray Ray 'nem?

Sidenote: Dora the explorer is THE SHIIIITTTT!!!!! Wonderpets are THE SHIIIITTTT!!!!! I never knew the hype about Dora, but I recently caught a few episodes..........hoooolyyy learning tools Batman! I love that show. When I have kids, they're watching nothing but Dora. Spongebob however,.......... I know grown women who love Spongey but I'm sorry. The only thing you can learn from that tomfoolery is be dumb, how do be dumber and new dumb shit to say. And you wonder why your littl'ins can't read at their level worth a shyeght!.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Diary of a Mad Pack Rat: Part 2...the flashbacks

Previously, in Diary of a Mad Pack Rat

After admitting to be a pack rat....albeit a recovering one....................

My rules for donating/letting go of clothes:
I don't care how much I loved it in high school or college or whatever, If I haven't worn it in 2 yrs i prolly wont. There are tons of ppl who will prolly want or need it more than I do.
If I know that this is not my style anymore, I don't wear it.
I'm not Kriss Kross or MC Hammer. Funny thing is, I've gotten bigger as I aged, yet my clothes from 4-6 years ago are too big for me?? And in another ironic note of jest, all the clothes I didn't like bc they were "too small," now fit just fine? What was it with the 90's and RIDICulously baggy clothing?!!!! No more rolling the pant leg or rolling up the sleeves, I'm grown, I know my sizes, my clothes are fitted.
How many of the same color do I need? (And I know somewhere out there there's a female who will argue tooth and nail on each point and somehow make an argument that seems to make sense).

Childhood memory junk flashbacks - The stuff that's hard to let go:

Lunch tickets. If you went to NYC public schools and either your household income was in a certain range.....or you forged one....or only claimed a certain amount, you know that you're lifeline of sustenance was the cafeteria lunch ticket. You used it to get that free lunch which everyone thought they were too cool to eat, but EFF YOU, bc that free lunch was DELICIOUS!! OR, on days when your paper was low, you'd hustle those tickets for some pocket money for other more important things (jansport strings, comic books, the candy shop or "cake line".........that ironically never sold cake). The benefit is then you had money to buy a milk and one of those 3-pack of cookies that for the life of me I can't recall the name (forget butter crunch and oatmeal, my favorite was always chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies). SIGH!!
JANSPORT STRINGS!! I had to mention this for kicks and giggles, but no way in hell I could bring myself to throw these out. I don't know about other cities, but in Brooklyn, early 90's, there were no bigger trend than the lanyard strings ppl tied onto the Jansport backpack zippers. It was so hot, I steered clear of it for the first 3 years until I was old enough and had enough clientele to wear them safely. For these ridiculous strings, ppl got robbed, chased, beat down, sliced, stabbed, shot and in few extreme circumstances killed. Don't believe me, just ask someone who grew up in BK early 90's. I had to fight, run and do a host of other things to collect and keep my strings (including burn the knots and tips so ppl couldn't untie and steal em off your back in crowded places). I decided to keep em. They're like battle scars and ribbons. Not quite ready to part with em just yet.

Here's where I'm stumped:
Currently, I have a draw full of stuff that isn't mine, so next time my brother comes to visit I have a box worth of "gifts" for him. In a previous blog I discussed the glory of antiquated technologies and it rolled over so long i revisited it again. The biggest hurdle now are the remaining boxes and bags of:
CASSETE TAPES
HI-8 TAPES
VHS TAPES (EVEN 3 betamats)
CD'S
ZIP DRIVES!! - that one made me laugh.

A massive cleanup is like a trip in a time machine. So far, the box of VHS tapes was used temporarily as a christmas tree stand, and now makes for a good plant stand. Any other suggestions for my outdated medias? For now, they hide and cower under my bed. Out of site and out of mind.

Diary of a Mad Pack Rat

I am an admitted pack rat, and I am okay with it. According to Brian Tracy, ppl who are pack rats usually result from poor/wanting childhoods, which psychologically speaking makes SOME sense. I been traumatized by my parents throwing away most of my favorite toys, comics, drawings etc..... coincidentally all the things I've built my lifestyle and career off of, THANKS MOM N DAD!!!! (I'M NOT BITTERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!) My philosophy has always been, "I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it" which is why I believe about 9 out of 10 guys walk around with condoms........that and one of the most painful experiences in life is turning down "the occasion" bc you are ill prepared (side note: be weary of anyone in that situation who willingly wants to proceed, but that's another conversation).

I therapeutically purged (can't exactly call what I did "cleaning") my room and over the course of a few months, culminating in the last weeks of 08. I threw away well over 3 full sized garbage bags, donated 4 bags of old clothes and more on a more impressive note, recycled SEVEN FRICKEN LARGE SIZED CLEAR PLASTIC BAGS OF PAPER!!! What the hell? Was I secretly running a printing press/accounting firm in my sleep?!!!

I was deterred many a time bc I feared that I "needed" these things. What I finally had the strength and courage to realize is, I don't NEED these "things" what I needed was some BLASTED SPACE!!

Here's how it went down:

First of all, a paper shredder is a God-send. Everyone should own one. It's just divine. Make it a part of your routine. That being said, amongst the POUNDS of paper I shredded, here's just SOME of what I found:

Receipts - THROW THEM OUT!! And if you fear being audited throw out anything over 3 yrs.
Movie stubs - Can you believe I had every (99.99999999%) movie for every movie I seen since 1996!!!? Including, Godzilla - the atrocious remake, Titanic - made me laugh as much when I saw it as I did in the theater back in '98.
Pay stubs - I had pay stubs from 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005...............2004? 2002? 2000?? 99?? 98??!! 95!!?!?!
Menus
Notes and documents from old jobs
Flyer
Semester syllabus', welcome letters and other bs mail from college
And the biggest one of all - JUNK MAIL!! Credit card offers out the wahzooooooo

Next Chapter, I'll discuss some hilarious flashbacks and how I managed to cope with parting from my past.

Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 1

YEAH I SAID IT!!

I can easily see myself as a future Bill Cosby, giving key note addresses at graduations in a sweat suit and slippers and cursing out the young generation.

I've been pondering this question for a number of reasons. First of which, if you're not up on "JUSTUS" comic, you really need to check out last weeks http://www.isitjustus.com/ comic "recreatioNULL"

So other than having every means of access at their disposal, we have an alarming increase in the rate of high school drop out, late graduations, and students reading below grade level. So I began looking at our society and amongst many reasons, here is a major one.

Why kids today are so DUMB!! Theory 1: NO G.I. JOE

I would love to give my parents ALL the credit for my fairly stellar upbringing, but they didn't get home till about 4-5pm. So alongside a host of wonderful cartoons, too many to name, the most influential was G.I. Joe. Let's ignore the latent pro-army/patriot, anti-terrorist, good vs. evil dialectics, the gratuitous fascination with guns (every man born btwn 1970-1989 can accurately mimic any gun noise with their mouth and easily identify a tech-9, mac-10, m-4, m-16, desert eagle, colt .45, glock .45, 9mm, .38, .22, Beretta, calico, ak-47, Uzi, or German Luger...to name a few.....or just anyone who grew up in "Reaganomics" Brooklyn). Let's ignore the fact that it was the most racist show in the history of TV (like I'm the only one who notices all the black ppl rapped or barbecued, and the one Chinese guy was bare-footed and while everyone had guns he carried throwing stars).

G.I. Joe did something that saved the lives of so many other children..........PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!! We live under the guise that "Common sense" is "COMMON." ITS NOT!! Look at just some of the valuable lessons GI JOE taught us:

• Don't swim in a lake during a thunderstorm
• Don't touch downed electrical lines
• Don't accept offers or talk to strangers
• How to stop a nose bleed
• How to swim and not drown
• Don't touch stray animals and not to run away if a dog approaches you, walk away slowly.
• What to do if your clothes catch on fire
• What to do if your house catches on fire
• Don't stereotype and prejudge ppl
• Don't hide in things that can potentially suffocate you (saved my life many a game of hide n seek)
• And 15 others!!!!!!
  

I watched the GI JOE movie on dvd the other day and as an added feature it includes ALL ORIGINAL 25 PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS. OMG!!! I last night realized I quite possibly learned more from GI JOE than from any other one source in my life!!!!

At a latter time I will delve into the seemingly disturbing question as to why a Joe was always in a 2 minute radius of these children when something went wrong. I found it quite alarming that Wetsuit emerged from a lake as soon as the kids are about to get into trouble. Does he spend his free time observing kids swim from the bottom of lakes? Idunno. Damn pre-megan's law ass stalkers!!

"Thanks R! And now we know. "
"And knowing is half the battle!"

GEEEEEEEEEE.IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!!!!! [dunna dun da dnnnnnnn!!]

Bloggers Block

Of all my handicaps, I must say one is inconsistency. I tend to fluctuate amongst so many things that something always gets procrastinated. I'm probably one of history's greatest procrastinators. I say this bc I've mastered to art of productive procrastination. Here's how. When I do something, I go hard [giggity] so much so that it perpetuates for a long time. The residual affect is I appear productive even when I'm not working. I learn this from exercise (here he go again). People always tell me they need to burn calories, they need to burn fat....no you dont. You need to build muscle. Why? Not only does it speed up your metabolism (which is really what you want to do or else all the fat you lose will come right back) muscle burns fat EVEN when you're not doing anything. Not to mention the exercises to build muscle burns fat ANYWAY, but that's another conversation.

note to self....future blog..."the art of procrastination."

The irony I find is that I got so many complaints about my blogs being too long, then I get even more complaints about not blogging enough. Hence, do what you want to do in life bc either way you'll piss off and please ppl, so you may as well do what makes you happy.

So why the hiatus? I'm a travel whore. In the last 30 days I been to Jersey, Stonybrook Long Island, Boston, Toronto and Cybertron (shout outs to Transformers fans), and I'll be outtatown every weekend this month culminated in Trinidad Carnival.......... CYAN WAIT!!!!!!!

Needless to fear, I've been blogging via my notes application on my crackberry so soon as I transfer them I'll copy and post them, so expect like 3-8 blogs to be posted all at once.